


Twelve years gone

by naniroftw



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Inspired by Real Events, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:42:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naniroftw/pseuds/naniroftw
Summary: That’s my version of the Cockles timeline from when they meet in 2008 until Supernatural's finale in 2020.These are characters based on real people's public personas, speculation, vague interviews and stuff. None of this is claiming to be remotely real or accurate! No disrespect is meant to anyone.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Danneel Harris, Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, Misha Collins/Vicki Vantoch
Comments: 20
Kudos: 132





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> These are characters based on real people's public personas, speculation, vague interviews and stuff. None of this is claiming to be remotely real or accurate! No disrespect is meant to anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my [beta](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) This would be a much bigger mess without their help

_Beep- beep. Beeeep- beep_. The phone line trilled incessantly.

“C’mon, Vicki….” Misha murmured under his breath. _Beep -_

“Hello” he heard his wife’s slightly grouchy distracted voice. Her ‘I’m-proffesional-and-busy’ voice. 

“Oh,how’s it goin’, hon? Are you working?” he mustered his sweetest tone.

“Yeah, just got some reviews on the book. You sound hoarse as hell, what’s up with that?”

“It’s the voice I did for my character.” Misha cleared his throat “You know I auditioned for a disposable demon and got stuck with playing an angel .”

“How’s a gravelly voice angelic?” Vicky snorted a laugh unconvinced.

“Don’t laugh! I’m supposed to be this really powerful serious soldier-like being. I was afraid my voice would shake so when I spoke, that laryngitis inspired mess just came out.”

“Nobody gave you any directions on how to play an angel?” he could swear she was furrowing her brow.

“Well, the director rolled with it. However,the cast seemed weirded out …” he sighed and paused for a moment as the real reason for the call came forth in his mind “ I miss you, Vicki.”

“You’re just nervous, Misha. You really want this to work, don’t you?” When she wanted his wife could be very soothing.

“Yes. I am so done with being a starving artist. We need this, Vick.” Faint shadow of desperation was creeping in his words.

“We’ll be fine, hon, whatever happens. Besides, don't underestimate my work.”

“No…” he paused again “I love having a sugar mommy but I need some accomplishments of my own.” A sharp clanging sound from the other side made him move the phone away from his ear. Vicki cursed. “What was that?”

“Nothing…” she hesitated “just the dishwasher.”

“Is it leaking again? I should look at the plumbing. You want me to come down this weekend?” He was speaking too fast. He knew he was speaking too fast.

“Misha, I’ve got this.” Vicki said emphasizing every word “You just got a new role. Network. Socialize with the cast and crew, get to know them and let them get to know you. ”

“They think I’m weird.” he pouted

“Baby, you are weird.” she almost successfully fought off a chuckle “But good weird. If they don’t see that then it’s their loss.”

“They seem to have this tight circle of friendship and I don’t think guest stars are allowed in...”

“ Has somebody been mean to you?” Vicki interrupted, her tone changing abruptly “I’ll come up there right now and kick their ass, you know!”

“No, no…”

“Is it one of those supermodels, the main schmucks?” her voice was getting lauder.

“Is that even a word, Vick?” Misha couldn’t help a laugh.

“It is now.” she assured him “So tell me about them.”

“Well, they seem like professionals. Jared, the tall one, seems fun and friendly but I have hardly worked with him. The other one, we had a long scene yesterday when I used my angelic voice…”

“Is that the cute one?”

“Vicki! Yeah, I guess…”

“Don’t Vicki me, boy, you commented extensively on his assets while contemplating that role. I figured you’d be excited to meet him.” For no reason whatsoever Misha was blushing a little.

“Get rid of your matchmaker voice, please. He’s pretty but in a Barbie doll kind of way.”

“Pleasant to look at but no personality?”

“He looks a bit reserved to me, arrogant even. He’s extremely aware of his looks and is probably used to everybody falling at his feet. He also gives me these unpleasant looks, like I’m inferior…”

“Knock it out right now!” Vicki snapped but continued tenderly “Misha, you’re a talented actor but you let your insecurities get in the way. Give the guy a chance. Give everybody a chance, Okay?” he pictured her reassuring-but-insistent face “You never know, maybe this is the chance you need for your acting career to take off.”

“I’m dying in two episodes, honey.” he sighed ”But thank you for the pep talk.”

“Anytime. _ ” _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When did Jensen know? When did he figure out that there was something off with Misha?

When did Jensen know? When did he figure out that there was something off with Misha? Well, since the first day he met him, things were a tad bit weird between them but it was not until a couple of weeks later at a cast party that he realized there was more to their awkwardness around each other. Since the beginning Erik Kripke was saying if you want to stay on the air as a successful show you need a really tightly knit cast and crew so everything runs smoothly in unison. So bonding was essential and usually came with alcohol, music and lounging around until well past midnight. After three years, team building parties had become essential. 

They usually throw a party after they wrap up a particularly difficult episode. It was the middle of September 2008, probably around 18th or 20th. Jensen couldn’t remember exactly but they were probably at a soundstage that had been turned into a lounge with Jared and Genevieve and he was having his 4th or 5th drink. He distinctly remembers Jared’s obnoxiously loud laughter that he has when he is on the verge of being too drunk. Right about then Jay, that’s what he called Jared, had found something so hysterical he was ignoring Genevieve because he was not even trying to flirt with her. Gen looked amused and Jensen did not miss the softness in her eyes whenever she looked at Jared's now red face. At that moment, Jensen knew that Jared’s silly crush may actually become a love story. 

“Dmitri? What kind of name is Dmitri?” the giant numb-nut shrieked, erratically.

“It’s Russian, dummy,” Genevieve shook her head, patting Jared on the shoulder.

“Who is Dmtitri?” Jensen asked. _That’s a stupid thing to ask,_ Jensen thought but was too drunk to stop himself.

“Well,” Misha replied from the backrest of the armchair he was perched on “it’s me. I am Dmitri.”

“Your actual name is Dmitri?” Jared’s face was turning blue, he needed to breathe. .

“Dmitri Trepens Krushnic, enchanté” Misha bowed a little from his unusual seat, almost spilling wine on his ridiculous sweater.

“Krushnic!” Jared laughed again and Misha’s face turned the slightest tint of pink, he was starting to get uncomfortable.

It is not that Misha was touchy or couldn’t make a self-deprecating joke, on the contrary, he was quite the comedian, but Jensen felt uneasy with how Jared was acting. _Way to look like assholes to the guest stars_ . “Don’t embarrass yourself more than usual, Jay,” he chided as he lowered his eyes to Jared who was still laughing hysterically then he turned towards Misha, “I am sorry on behalf of my purely American friend, _Padalecki_ here.” He rolled his eyes hard on ‘Padalecki’ but the irony was lost on drunken Jared.

“It’s okay” Misha chuckled and straightened a little. The whiskey was pooling warm in Jensen’s belly. “I’m used to it. A nice Russian accent can land you some amazing roles.” Sometimes Misha’s voice had a mesmerizing note to which people failed to resist. “A spy. An assassin. A mafia… well, not boss but a mafia cutthroat. Yeah, variety is key.” He shrugged innocently as the others laughed, “Well sometimes someone can mistake you for an actual spy. There was only this one old lady living down the street when I was 10 or 11 years old that was pretty sure I was a Soviet spy” Misha’s expression had become conspicuous as he was leaning in towards Gen, sitting on the armrest of Jared’s chair and stroking his hair. “See, the lady had a little bit of dementia, maybe that was why she called 911 on several occasion to report suspicious activity.”

“About you?” Gen asked.

“Yeah, yeah about me. ‘See, Homeland Security, I want to report a boy in my neighborhood.” Misha’s impression of a 75 years old, suburban lady with a hushed voice made for gossip and secret reports was outstanding. “I heard him being called ‘Dmitri’ who talks with Russian accent and I think he may be spying on us. No, no, he is about 11. How do I think he works? I don’t know, I’m not a communist spy. Maybe he tries to convert the kids at the school into communism or something. Yes, thank you, thank you officer for your attention.’”

Jensen had tears in his eyes and his belly was aching from the laughter but managed to say “But you don’t have an accent now.”

“Well…” Misha grinned with a look of childish mischief on his face “A nice Russian accent have other benefits too.” he winked “It is an excellent way to get away with things and to receive people’s desserts from lunch.” Suddenly mid-sentence his expression changed, his voice rasping an octave lower “I’m Dmitri, came here from Russia with my brother Sasha and my mother Masha.” The words were rolling out of his tongue all hard ‘r’-s and hard ‘h’-s, no sign of diphthongs. Jensen was folding in two in something that was threatening to enter giggle territory. “Your country - very beautiful, love it here. In Russia we have all that borsch and cold and snow and poverty'' sorrowful wrinkles scrunched Misha’s forehead, his eyes bigger and bluer than ever. He looked like a sweet hungry child and Jensen would give him not only his dessert but the entire lunch if it would make him happy. “Only two flavors of ice cream. In America, there are 32 flavors of ice cream…”

“This Dmitri guy is quite the performer, huh?” Gen challenged and Misha broke character, a wide smile on his face, eyes crinkled at the corners. Jensen hadn’t noticed when he had stilled fixated at the comic show in front of him.

“That was great, dude” Jared said, patting Misha’s knee. “Right, Jackles?”

“Yeah… great.” Jensen’s eyes locked with Misha’s and for a moment he thought he saw something unreadable in them; a twinkle maybe. They both failed to look away for what probably was far too long and as Misha’s face relaxed and his gaze became clearer, Jensen could feel it going right through him to his very core.

 _So, it’s not just Castiel then_ , he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When did Misha know? When did he find out there was something off with Jensen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song referenced in the text is Simple man originally by Lynyrd Skynyrd and Jensen is known for covering it  
> [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKMbXOwXSdM&ab_channel=JasonManns-Topic) You're welcome

When did Misha know? When did he find out there was something off with Jensen? Well, since the first day. Since the first moment he and Jensen were in a scene together. Earlier during a reshoot and at the makeup trailer, Jensen had seemed a little stand-off-ish. Misha thought that he was a dick because of the way he acted around him. He was fiercely professional, very talented, so confident, and cool. It was definitely not Misha’s cup of tea.

When they shot Castiel’s entrance scene, Misha made sure to give him best performance and he followed the director’s direction to a T. Ackles was impeccable in his delivery, rock solid, two takes at most. Misha was acutely aware of the cameras and the microphones and Jim Beaver playing a passed out Bobby in the background. Then it happened. To this day Misha cannot tell how he did it but he did it. He made Jensen Ackles break character. 

“What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved.” 

Well, not really break. But at some point Misha realized it was not Dean staring at him confused, it was Jensen staring at him confused.

“Good things do happen, Dean.”

Jensen’s pretty features were strained with something Misha couldn’t really pin down. Their stare contest was still ongoing; insecurity crept in the back of Misha’s mind, along with weird warmth.  _ Do not break character, do not break, do not… _

“Not in my experience” Jensen finally said softly, almost a whisper.

“CUT!” Kim Manners, the director, shouted.

They shifted and Kim appeared from his booth.

“That was fine, Jensen, but can you try it a little more aggressively?” Ackles nodded, concentrating on a spot on the floor, stern look on his face. “This is all getting to Dean, but he is still in combat mode.”

“Ok, let’s do that.” Jensen straightened and exhaled sharply.

They reshot the scene a couple of more times. Between takes Jensen Ackles was talking to crew members, sipping water, smiling absent-mindedly and giving Misha quick sideways looks.

It was several weeks later when Misha knew he was totally losing it. It was the middle of September, maybe around 18 th . The new season had just premiered and the audience had loved Castiel. Misha had just received his first paycheck and was so happy he spent hours talking to Vicki about it.

“I’d love to do some stuff on the house. You know, like fix the plumbing.”

“And since you’ll have all that money now you can even hire a professional,” his wife laughed.

“Mhm, I’ve got this friend in mind. Also I’d like to finally furnish your home office . You could use some good lighting while you work.”

“You’re sweet but you know I could do that if I wanted. I got more classes this year at the university.”

“Would it kill you to pretend I am not a trophy husband for once?” he growled at the receiver.

“Fine, honey” Misha could almost hear her smirk through the phone. “As long as we’re on it, can I have a cabrio?”

“Greedy cow” he snorted in amusement.

So yeah, Misha could get used to this ‘paying job’ thing. Better not screw up if he wants to keep it. Later that day there was that cast party - Misha’s first cast party. He’s hanging out with the cool kids, with the leads, despite his dorky knit sweater he was currently feeling very self-conscious about. Jared and Gen were getting pretty comfortable around each other and it was cute as fuck. Misha was trying his damnest to be funny and likable and to fit in. Vicki told him about 500 times today this would be very important to his career and befriending colleagues was always a good strategy. So he was not entirely sure how he’s gotten to telling one of his little stupid stories, making a Russian accent but sure as hell was hoping he’s not embarrassing himself completely. Also he hoped no one here had any real Russian ancestry to be offended by his jokes.

“In America, there  are 32is 32 flavors of ice cream…” he gestured wildly but then noticed that one of his companions was suddenly quiet. Jensen still had a huge grin plastered on his face, his cheeks were flushed and shiny but he was simply gazing at Misha’s face, something inexplicably confused yet soft in his eyes. 

“This Dmitri guy is quite the performer, huh?” Gen challenged.

Suddenly Misha just bent down laughing, tugging at the front of his purple and green sweater.  _ Why don’t I have grown up clothes? _ goes through his head and more willpower than he’d admit was necessary to prevent him from sliding into awkward thought patterns.

“That was great, dude” Jared’s rather harsh drunken tap on the knee snapped him out of his mind “Right, Jackles?”

“Yeah… great”

Misha shook his head still chuckling as he caught Jensen’s eyes. The one and a half beers he’d had must’ve really gotten to his head because there is a bit of a time gap in his memory. Clearly he got a little distracted but it shouldn’t have been that long for Jared to ask him:

“Dude, did you fall asleep?”

“What? No.”

“You kinda zoned out” Gen added.

“I’ll get another beer. Do you guys want anything?” Misha climbed down from his throne on top of the armchair.

“You still have half a bottle here” he heard Jared yell after him as he walked away.

An hour or so later he was casually chatting with, Jim Beaver proudly boasting how Jared’s pranks had never gotten him. Misha kind of suspected there was the ‘respect for the elderly’ thing in play but managed not to blurt it out.

“C’mon, do it” someone boomed from nearby, a small group of people shouting and cheering around.

“Oh, look,” Jim said “You may get to see the rarest of animals – the singing Jackles.”

A chair was pulled out, separate from the rest, the party crowd creating a bit of free space in the middle of the room. Jensen was pushed down on it by an even drunker Jared, and a guitar placed in his hands. Poor guy’s face was crimson and he was mumbling something but few more shouts from the gathering crowd convinced him resistance was futile.

“Ok, ok, fine” he ran a hand through his hair “I am drunk and y’all too persistent.” The slight Texan drawl made Misha smile a little.

Like that a quiet slow country melody rose as Jensen’s fingers tugged on the strings. It was acoustic, gentle and was lulling Misha’s mind. The room fell silent as people strained to pick on every note since Jensen was singing rather quietly at first

**Mama told me when I was young**

The voice was deep, smooth with an undertone of hesitation.

**"Come sit beside me, my only son**

Jensen’s eyes closed, his face angled towards his guitar. The hesitation disappeared.

**And listen closely to what I say**

A Small smile danced on his lips, eyes still closed.

**And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day, ah yeah"**

It probably wasn’t natural for an adult to have this peaceful of a look on their damn face.

**"Oh, take your time, don't live too fast**

It felt like the room was suddenly empty except for Jensen on that chair.

**Troubles will come and they will pass**

Time was probably going wonky. Misha felt the song was lasting hours yet hadn’t begun.

**You'll find a woman, yeah, and you'll find love**

The muscles of Misha’s face were aching from the huge unmoving idiotic grin of his own.

**And don't forget, son, there is someone up above"**

By the end of it Misha was gone. He walked outside in the slightly chilly Vancouver fall night with a blurry vision and a foggy head with the faint realization that he was in trouble.  He needed to call Vicki...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'He is precious', Misha thought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) for helping out with my messy drafts.

He didn’t call Vicki. When the morning greeted him with a hammering hangover, Misha decided to get rid of his  _ thing  _ with Jensen from last night, whatever it was, along with the contents of his stomach, he had work to do and going by the raving reviews about his performance in the season premiere which included phrases like  **_‘game changer’_ ** and  **_‘inspiring performance’,_ ** he was sure that he had a real shot here. Vicki was right, his acting career was about to kick off. So he rinsed his mouth off and decided that he had to take his role seriously. He was done fooling around.

And work he did. He gave his best efforts in every scene, always going the extra mile. Misha started to slowly fit into place with the cast and crew. Weeks later he was hanging with Jared and Jensen in Jared’s trailer waiting for the scene to be reset. (“It should take no more than 90 minutes” the nervous P.A. had announced).

“How did the surgery go?” Jensen cocked his head towards Jared who was contemplating his chances of getting away with drinking beer during work hours.

“What now?”he scoffed, flipping his hair.

“You and Gen are not currently joined at the hip. I barely see you without her lately.” Jensen smirked.

“It’s not true, Ackles!” Jay protested. He eventually opted for water and brought three bottles to the small coffee table where the three of them were sitting.

“No, no, I can see the scar right there” Misha gestured towards Jared’s left hip. For that he was rewarded with two sets of raised eyebrows in his direction.  _ Good job, weirdo. _

“Pick your allies carefully, Collins” Jared snorted a laugh and the tension melted a little.

“Misha, do you know Genevieve?” Jensen asked sarcastically, leaning back on the couch.

“No, I don’t think so.” Misha deadpanned.

“Small, brunette, very patient” said Jensen as a bottle cap got thrown at him but he dodged it without even flinching. “Our Jared here had a little bit of a crush on her. Here let me paint you a picture.”

Jared’s protest consisting of booing and throwing other small objects didn’t stop Jensen from standing up, intending to give a show. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, stepping nervously from foot to foot dramatically flipping his imaginary long hair.  _ Wow, he can act, _ Misha smiled to himself.

“I’ll be Jared and you’re Gen,” he said to Misha then his voice changed to mimic Jared’s “So,” Jensen stepped nervously towards Misha who was still sitting on the armchair, “how are you?” His eyes travelled up and down Misha’s body. “I see you’re reading a book,” Jensen paused awkwardly, looking at his feet and kicking the floor a little _. God, that _ ’ _ s adorable _ . “Maybe you want to be alone,” he turned sideways, hands fidgeting in his pockets. At this point Jared was simply laughing, hiding his face in his giant palm. Misha too could barely contain himself “No? It’s cool… errr…,” Jensen continued. Misha’s belly was starting to hurt from the muffled giggles. “I too like books. I even read them sometimes… err…,” Jensen leaned right in front of his face. “How would you like to…uh…,”he dragged out and Misha realized he was staring at his lips. Two long seconds passed before Jensen concluded with a dead serious voice and quickly moving away “It was embarrassing.”

“It worked well” Misha cleared his throat and laughed nervously.

“Anyway,” Jared managed to pull himself together at last “You guys up for a game? Jackles, if you don’t mind I may do Misha the honor of beating him first.”

“Go ahead, I don’t feel like gaming right now anyways” Jensen nodded, taking his seat back on the couch.

“Misha, do you play?” Jared threw him a joystick out of nowhere.

“Not really.”Misha mumbled awkwardly.

“C’mon, man, next thing you're gonna say is that you don’t even watch football!” Jared said mortified.

“Go Liverpool?” Misha flashed them an apologetic smile, shrugging.

“I am calling it, Jay,” Jared despaired, “he is officially hopeless.”

“If you don’t play games and don’t watch sports, what do you do with your free time, Misha?” Jensen grinned at him.

_ Do not say threesomes! Do not say… _ “I like meditating”  _ Nice save, half-brain. “And writing” That’s not pretentious at all! _ Their faces sadly were confirming his feeling “…not novels.” The silence stretched as his coworkers nodded politely “Also travelling when I have the money.”

“Cool.” Both his colleagues relaxed at the hint of normal.

“What’s your favorite place you visited?” Jensen asked. The guy was genuinely making an effort.

“India. And Russia.” he blurted out too quickly.

“Interesting choice. Is that where you picked up that accent you showed us at the party?” Jared teased.

“Not exactly. My wife is quite adventurous,” Misha said and couldn’t help but notice Jensen blinking several times looking in his direction.

“I didn’t know you’re married,” he took a long sip of his water.

“I know,” Jared scoffed “Who do you think he talks to on the phone during every lunch break?”

“Yeah, her name is Victoria. We’ve been together forever.”

“Ooooh, look Jackles, his whole face lightens up when he speaks about her. I bet he misses her a lot.”

“That reaction is totally unheard of,” Misha teased, raising his eyebrows at Jared with his giant crush on Gen.

“What does she do?” Jensen asked, finishing his water.

“She studies history and journalism. Recently wrote a book.” Ok, maybe he was getting a little gooey talking about Vicki.

“So Mrs. Collins too is the brainy type, huh?” Jared grinned warmly.

“Actually, she never took my last name. So it’s Vicki Vantoch.”

“No way,” Jared’s eyes widened suddenly and Misha’s insides tightened up.

“What?” Jensen asked, confused.

“Gen and I eyed a book recently,” Jared said “Written by some Victoria Vantoch”

Misha’s mind raced.  _ Shit, shit, shit, shit. _

“About?” Jensen obviously didn’t get what the big deal was.

“A Handbook for threesomes?” Jared seemed to be straining his memory “Something like that. Does she happen to be the same Vicki Vantoch?”

Misha felt his face burning and considered lying for a second. It could be a coincidence. But messes like that seemed only to become more complicated and would never end well so he decided against it. So what if they knew? What was the worst that could happen? “Yeah,” he confirmed after a while.

“Dude,” Jensen was apparently taken aback, eyebrows furrowing. Maybe he was the traditional type? Religious? No, Misha could swear by the jokes he was making that Jensen - 

“Awesome,” Jared said quietly in awe, interrupting the train of thoughts. “Really awesome. Have you, you know…”

“Dude!” Jensen snapped at Jared this time. This obviously was making Jensen uncomfortable; he probably wanted as much as Misha to finish this conversation.

“What? Has Danneel changed your mind?” Jared challenged.  _ What? I am missing something here, aren’t I?  _ Misha thought.

“Shut up!” Jensen rolled his eyes but then fixed them on a spot on the floor. It was his turn to blush.

“She really got under your skin, huh?” Jared patted him on the shoulder “Look, Misha, Jensen has the same face you had when you talked about Vicki.”

“He’s precious.” Misha didn’t sound half as ironic and joking as he hoped. Jensen’s face was getting redder, his hand nervously rubbing his neck, looking like an embarrassed kid.  _ He is precious. _

“Women, man” Jared shook his head, taking pity on his friend.

“Guys, we’re ready for you” the PA who had asked them to take a break earlie was shouting from the other side of the trailer door breaking the awkward moment. The three of them quickly gathered to finish the rest of their 14 hour work day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Jensen thought - a nice dinner why not? They would get to know each other a bit better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was inspired by this [Honcon 2017 story!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5Ei4ey3bQ4&ab_channel=SPNConGirl)

A dinner. The dinner was Jensen’s idea. Even though there was more than 3 weeks until Christmas, Misha was going home tomorrow. In the last few months he had become a nice breath of fresh air on set every other week or so and Jensen had become accustomed to his presence. They worked great together and Misha was providing much needed relief for Jared and himself from the spotlight since the audience simply loved Castiel. Jensen couldn’t wait for Misha to join them at conventions so he could take from that workload too. But it was more than work. Misha was spending a lot of his downtime on set in Jared’s trailer having a beer, adding hilarious live commentary on the video games that Jared and Jensen would be playing. He would do weird things like bring brownies he had made himself (once he had brought weed brownies, and they had the funniest night) or throw extra packs of sugar at Jensen when they were having coffee on an early call (“To sweeten the sour face you have at 6 in the morning” he would tease). With Jared getting more and more serious with Gen, Misha was a natural and easy company. And now he was going home. With the winter break and the shooting schedule they were probably not going to see each other for a couple of months. So Jensen thought - a nice dinner why not? They  _ would get to know each other a bit better. _

A restaurant. The restaurant was Misha’s idea. It was a small secluded gem in downtown Vancouver, very nice atmosphere. But it was one of those modern, New Age-type of places and Jensen was staring at the menu not understanding jack shit. Misha, sitting across the table, didn’t seem to have a problem. The waiter brought them drinks - wine. At least the wine was familiar.

“You come here often?” Jensen asked, eyeing Misha in his black button down shirt. It was a nice change from the usual colorful sweaters.

“Nope, my first time” he answered, not raising his eyes from the menu.

“Why did you choose it then?”

“Seemed nice.” Misha finally put the menu down and took a look at Jensen “But you’re more of a steak and potatoes guy, aren’t you?”

“I can’t say I recognize more than a third of what is here” he said, pointing at the Menu, trying to keep down the note of embarrassment from his voice.

“So we’re gonna give your mouth an adventure” Jensen wouldn’t admit that alongside with the giggle the comment drew from him, there was slight warmth rising in his neck. Misha, still chuckling, poured some more wine in his glass “Here, try this.”

“Mmm, that’s actually pretty good,” Jensen nodded after a sip. “What is it?”

“Raspberry wine.” The smuggest grin appeared on Misha’s face “That I know was good.”

The wine was indeed nice, sweet, leaving a pleasant tingling from his throat to his stomach, Jensen really enjoyed it. Soon after, the waitress appeared for their order. Jensen was searching the menu for what seemed the most edible, when with a smooth confident motion Misha took the menu out of his hands, took his own and handed them to the quite surprised girl in white apron.

“We’ll have the three least ordered items on the menu” he said with a smooth voice.

“Very well, sir”

Jensen only raised his eyebrows. This was becoming a pattern with Misha – making weird decisions, giving people a hard time, making tongue-in-cheek jokes. Who knows what they were gonna eat now.

The food turned out to be a disaster. Brains! They had brains on the menu! Who eats that? And sweetbreads too which turned out to be fried thymus glands. Also some weird sheep stomach soup. Jensen’s stomach turned just from the idea.  _ God I hate him right now but I also kind of love him a little bit more too _ . He made a conscious effort to suppress a goofy smile.

Misha who was equally appalled managed to find the funny side of it all. He made jokes and even turned it into a truth or dare game. The dare was always to take a bite. This way the conversation kept flowing, the food got tasted and the wine bottles were rapidly emptying.

“That is actually kind of buttery,” Misha concluded smacking his lips after a forkful of brains. “Have you tried it already? It may turn out to be my favorite of the evening.”

“I don’t think so,” Jensen laughed, feeling the wine turn his limbs to lead. “I just got a bite of the thymus. It was glandy.”

“So truth or brain?”

“Truth. Dude, I can’t get over the…” he gestured with his fork “braininess of it.” The wine was taking a toll on his eloquence.

“What was the most embarrassing thing you were into when you were younger?”

“Ok, I’m telling you, but if you tell Jared I’m gonna hunt you down and gut you.” That was maybe a little too aggressive but there was manliness to be protected here.

“Cross my heart.” Misha made a cross sign in front of his breast pocket, eyes gleaming.

“I… huh… was in the cheerleading squad in high school.” Jensen said that with as much dignity as one can manage to put in such a statement as a 30 years old man.

Misha’s reaction was as expected – the man couldn’t breathe from laughing so hard, his eyes surrounded by crinkles. There was no malice in his laugh though, no mocking. Jensen even managed to smile a little. “Oh, I can imagine that! Is that why you overcompensate so much nowadays?”

“What? I don’t!”he protested, brows furrowed.

“Yeah, you do, tough guy.” Misha tapped his shoulder from across the table. “What sealed the deal for you? Was it the elaborate acrobatics? The cheerleading chicks? The football team?”

“Actually I enjoyed the teamwork in order to create something beautiful. Also my brother was on the football team and I did not want to ‘follow his footsteps’.”

“That’s sweet.”

“My turn.” Jensen hurried “Truth or sheep soup?”

“Truth.”

“You married your high school sweetheart; do you think you missed out on other partners?”

Misha’s face took a turn for the darker as he said “Can I go with the soup please?”

“Oh, sorry that wasn’t entirely appropriate, must be the wine.” Jensen’s gaze dropped with embarrassment “Go ahead.”

“That’s spicy as fuck!” Misha coughed after a spoonful of oily milky liquid. The childish pout on his face was endearing. “Tag, you’re it again.”

“I feel bad for that last one so I’ll eat.”

“Brave, I like it. Take another sweetbread bite.”

Jensen was struggling to pass the weird tasting thing covered in cornflakes, dreaming of a big gulp of wine to wash it down. Misha was having an imprudent amount of fun watching him chew heroically.

“Next time we’re having Texan barbecue.” he said, eyes shut, trying to forget the taste.

“Fine by me. I love Tex-Mex Tuesdays in craft services.”

“No, real Texan barbecue, with chilli and beer.” Just the thought of real delicious food was making Jesnen unusually excited right now.

“In real Texas?” Misha raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, in Dallas. I know a place with the sweetest local brew.”

“Hm…” Misha smiled pensively, “I’d like that.” Jensen caught his gaze and silence fell for a minute.

“I never grew out of the things I liked as a child. Barbecue always means home to me.” He started, licking his suddenly dry lips. “What’s your favorite childhood food?”

“Well… I liked Cheetos and hot pockets,” MIsha responded slowly. 

“C’mon, dude. I mean real food.”

“That was my real food,” he frowned a little and relaxed back in his chair.

“Your parents let you eat only junk food?” A note of suspicion was finding its way in Jensen’s voice.

“We were… um… not very wealthy. Sometimes a friend’s mom packed me some lunch.” His eyes drifted a little to the side.

“Oh” was all Jensen managed to say.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid… Say something understanding but not condescending. _

“It’s okay. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Misha said “My parents split up when I was 3, me and my brother lived with my mom. We had a couple of rough years but it’s not a sob story.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, man.” Jesnen shifted in his chair. Being from a good suburban middle class family, he never knew how to not look like an ass when he saw people dealing with hardship. Misha was so positive and cheerful Jensen wouldn’t guess he had a rough childhood. One of Jensen’s hands slid on the table but stopped inches short of Misha’s fingers.  _ Offer comfort? Stupid _ .

“No,don’t be. It has actually built my sense of adventure.” His companion laughed quietly, still looking somewhere in the middle distance. “For a while we lived in a tent and I liked to pretend I was Peter Pan in the magic forest.”

Jensen’s eyes were wide, he didn’t know what to say so he settled for listening, for now.

“I learned to make a lot of my own stuff.Now I build my own furniture.”

“Wow. That sounds legit.”

“Yeah, when Vicki and I built the house…”

“Wait, wait, wait. You built your entire house?” Now Jensen was flabbergasted. This dude was surreal.

“We were fresh out of college, quite broke and very stupid.” Misha smiled again and this time managed to look Jensen in the face. That kind of vulnerability probably wasn’t planned on. The third empty wine bottle stood between them, helping. “I really enjoyed it even though I had some issues with the plumbing.”

“That’s amazing.” Jensen realized he had leaned forward like a kid listening to a bedtime story. He felt kind of dumb with his cheerleading stuff and reasonably well-off family. In an effort to lighten up the mood a little he said “Now that you're an actor, you’ll probably want to build a whole star worthy mansion.” Immediate regret. Stupid drunken brain!

Luckily Misha laughed and leaned forward as well. “I’d like to build several as a matter of fact.” He said plotting “There are a lot of families that would need them.”

“Charity? Next thing you’ll tell me you have this pair of fluffy wings on your back,” Jensen shook his head and looked from beneath his lashes. A small voice in his head told him he was probably getting out of line but Misha didn’t seem to mind it.

Time flies by when you are talking about plans to better the world, fart stories and shared love for solid wood furniture. The food sat there, forgotten. Jensen’s head floated, he was mind blown by how easy talking to Misha was. It was easy to talk about silly crap and it was easy to share deep stuff. He was so compassionate and caring, wanting to give so much kindness to the world that had not treated him kindly. He simply was  _ getting it _ . It must’ve been past midnight when the house lights dimmed significantly and the waitress came to tell them the restaurant was closing.

Outside in the cold December night, Misha still insisted he could walk to his hotel and Jensen insisted on walking him to it in order to sober up enough to drive himself home. The streets were quiet. When they arrived at the hotel, Jensen clasped Misha’s shoulder and said in the most sober voice he could find. “I had a great time, dude. Definitely should do that again.”  _ Stupid grin. _

“Yeah,” his friend dragged out and after a second of hesitation he pulled Jensen in a hug. It was brief, with just enough pressure. He instinctively rubbed Misha’s back.

“Have a safe flight tomorrow,” he managed to say finally, then turned on his heel and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my [beta](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball)  
> Also because Covid sucks ass, writing is getting a bit slower.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danneel 'I must be very dumb not to see'' Harris' perspective of things so far.

“So you haven’t noticed?” Vicky all but whispered behind her large wine glass.

Danneel’s eyebrows rose high on her forehead in confusion as she leaned back in her chair. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Misha and Jensen, they are kind of… sort of… well, they’re quite into each other.”

Thank God the party was rather loud and most people were more than tipsy and not paying attention to her and Vicki’s conspiratorial chatter over an almost empty bottle of fine Merlot. Danneel had never met anyone like Misha or his wife; they hit it off right away. She felt like a friend even though they had met just earlier that day. It was the annual CW network dinner at the end of January. Most of the cast and crew were present along with their significant others in order to meet with the executives. Breaking the ice, planning the next year, whatever. For Dani it was usually a little dull. But tonight she had Vicki to talk to. “You mean like ...”

“Matter of fact until tonight I thought it’s only Misha but seeing them together for the first time, no way this is one sided.” Vicki took a large sip of her glass and after a brief musing added “Did I freak you out? I’m sure nothing bad has happened.”

“No, not really.” Dani shook her head. A mix of excitement and confusion were spinning in her head along with the wine. Her brain told her jealousy could be an appropriate emotion too. But oddly enough it wasn’t there. Or there was a little but for different reasons than expected. Vicki - this woman, who had known Jensen for half a day had already picked up on the carefully hidden ways of her boyfriend’s mind. Dani had always had her suspicions that Jen had at least a passing interest in men and honestly that was part of what drew her to him but damn, she needed more time than an evening of mostly indirect observation to pin that about him. “How do you know?”

“Just look at them,” Vicki gestured towards the couch across the room where Jensen, Jared, Misha and few of the others were hanging out. “Look how close they stand to each other, how they laugh at everything even though no one else finds it funny. And I have known Misha since he was 14 years old, he is trying so hard to impress Jensen, to be funny and charming. It’s honestly embarrassing. Almost always his attempts show how much of a dork he is which is adorable.”

“Yeah…” Dani drew out and squinted at the scene in front of her “See how Jensen puffs his chest and smirks. I’ve seen this. He did the same when he was first hitting on me.”

“Like I said, adorable – both of them,” Vicki chuckled.

“Also, now that I think about it, all I was hearing the entire winter break was ‘Misha this and Misha that. He’s so weird but he’s so smart. He went to drama school but he’s so humble. He is so silly sometimes and he writes poetry.’ Jesus, I must be very dumb not to see” Danneel buried her face in her hand, giggling. These realizations were just under her nose but she needed someone to point them out.

“Tell me about it,” Vicki groaned and rolled her eyes “Two months of ‘Jensen Ackles is such a professional. He has so much talent. He’s actually pretty down to Earth. Do you know he sings?’” she imitated Misha’s voice and made a nauseated grimace before continuing “I’m telling you, Dani, I wanted to stop the planet and get off, it was so sickeningly sappy.” By this point tears of laughter were running down Dani’s face and after a moment of uncontrollable squealing Vicki said “You seem oddly ok with this though.”

“I guess I am. The idea of them as an item…” Danni smirked, her face flushed. Her eyes followed her boyfriend as he whispered something in Misha’s ear, then Misha shoved him and they both howled, oblivious to everybody else. “Damn, it’s quite hot.” Vicki just gave a knowing nod in response.

“Now we’re talking.” The brunette grinned. It was so rare to find someone who shares these very peculiar tastes, so this already looked like a promising friendship. “So do you think Jensen knows what’s happening?”

“Dunno, probably has some idea, but I bet he’s in denial. Should we…” Danneel leaned close and whispered “Do you think we should talk to them?”

“Not right away. We might freak them out. Misha really likes this job and does not want to lose it. Jensen looks like he’d be fighting any actual attraction with all he has.” A small sigh escaped Vicki’s lips as she adjusted in her chair and poured more wine to both her and Danneel. She was not wrong though. Jensen was all fun and games but when things got real he tended to get cold feet. Did Vicki say she studied psychology? Or maybe it was magic?

“Can’t we just push them a little in the right direction?”

“You’re eager, I like it” Vicki’s voice rang clear and pleased as she gave Dani a feather-light smack on the knee. “You can hint you’d be ok with it. But be careful…”

“What are you two conspiring about?” Dani felt strong arms hugging her from behind as Jensen leaned to peck her cheek.

“Nothing” Danneel spat way too quickly, blushing intensely.

“Menstrual cups” Vicki covered unfazed and finished her wine.

“Not suspicious at all, huh, Jackles?” Misha appeared behind his wife, lightly massaging her shoulder. The girls burst out laughing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know,” Misha rested his head on the back of the couch, “considering your love for beer is almost as strong as your love for the Impala, the plaid and the bravado, you may actually be real life Dean Winchester.”
> 
> Also Jared's sensing something fishy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) for beta reading my crappy drafts.

“Is Misha here already?”

“What?” Jensen frowned at Jared who just plopped down cheerfully into the director’s chair next to Jensen. It was early morning, it was still winter and he wasn’t in the mood for Jared’s dumb questions.

“He is coming today, right?” His friend asked nonchalantly. 

“How should I know?” Jensen cradled his cup of coffee. 6 o’clock wasn’t the time to have any kind of conversation but this one made him particularly irritated.

“Well, I guessed you would since y’all hang out together quite a lot,” Jared’s energy dropped to almost human levels now.

“I haven’t seen the dude in a month.”  _ What is this, an interrogation?  _ Jensen crossed his legs and snuggled into his parka, letting his sleepy mind do as little work as possible.

“Jesus, chill, bro,” Jared raised his hands in surrender but after a moment he leaned to take a better look at his friend. “Jen, are y _ ou  _ okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

“You seem a little tense.”

“I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Okay,” Jared said slowly. After a long noisy sip of coffee he continued, voice back to normal “So, I was thinking since Misha will be here for most of the remaining episodes of the season, maybe it’s time for his initiation. Really take him in.” At Jensen’s immediate confused look, he sighed “You know, prank him a little.”

“Why now?”

“Well, they liked him at the network party, I have a good feeling they’ll call him for next year. And that means he should learn how it’s really done around here.” Jared grinned the most evil grin a 5 year old could muster.

Jenson pushed away the familiar irritation at Jay’s shenanigans. “You’re a child.” was all the reaction the lovable idiot got.

“Your lack of enthusiasm is concerning. Did the dude rub you the wrong way somehow?”

“What? No!” Jensen snapped, defensively. Today was not a good day. His thoughts were sluggish and his gut was turning. It was probably the flu. “He is… he’s fine.”

“Great then,” Jared smiled again and slapped Jensen’s shoulder. “Listen, so this is what I have in mind. You saw Castiel has some pretty heavy scenes this week, right? So when they’re shooting his coverage staring dramatically at Dean, you’re going to fondle his crotch with your foot while I crawl…”

“What?!” this time it was a shout. Jensen turned to face Jared with a grumpy expression “I am not touching his crotch. What’s wrong with you?”

“Why not?” He was truly a kid with zero self-awareness “It would be funny!”

“I am not touching Misha’s balls!”

“Why not? Are you into him or something?” Jared teased mercilessly.

“I am not keen on touching anybody’s balls!”

“Fine.” Jared slumped in his chair, offended only half mockingly. “You are not fun. I’ll do it myself then”

“Jesus!” Jensen drank his coffee.

“Thou shalt not speak the name of the Lord thy God in vain,” he heard behind his back. Misha turned the corner of craft services with a huge coat, ridiculously long striped scarf (seriously, the thing was longer than Misha was tall) and a wide smile on his face. He was cradling a steaming cup of not-coffee with both his hands. It was kind of cute how he took a sip like that.

“So said the Angel of the Lord,” Jared laughed, patting Misha on the shoulder, “Hey, man, how have you been?”

“Good. Great actually. Didn’t miss Canadian winter, it’s way too cold.”

“Is that why you stole the carpet?” Jared tugged on the colorful stripes.

“Oh, this?” Misha looked down at his scarf as if he just realized it was there.

“I have to tell you, man, you have the weirdest fetish for knitwear I’ve seen.” Jared shook his head slightly. 

“It’s an old thing. My mom made it when I was a kid because I liked this show…” 

“Doctor Who?” Jensen finally joined the conversation, his tone way more serious than he intended.

“Yeah, actually,” Misha grinned and his entire face lightened up.

“Am I excluded from the nerd club?” Jared looked between them. It was absurd he was the one to talk about nerds with his Star Wars and Lord of the rings obsessions but he was trying to get a reaction. “Are you the cool kids now?”

“We have always been,” Misha teased and winked knowingly at Jensen who fought a smile. “I um… should go to hair and makeup.” He tried to avoid an awkward pause.

“Bob wanted to talk to me before prep,” Jared said “So, I’ll see you later.”

“C’mon, let’s go, Mish.” Jensen finished his coffee and stood up, ignoring Jared’s raised brow.

\--------------------------

The filming day ended at half past eleven in the evening. They should have wrapped up hours earlier but Jared’s pranks went overboard and scenes that should have been done in 3 takes were done in 15. Watching Misha desperately trying to not break character proved way more fun than expected. Eventually Jensen joined the prank squad in order to see the mighty warrior angel burst into almost girly giggles. At the end of the day it was only natural to invite Jared and Misha to have a beer in his trailer to prove there were no hard feelings. He and Jared were still in Sam and Dean’s costumes but Misha had changed into sweatpants and a slightly too big Henley after one of the pranks left his trench coat soaking wet.

“So you made it,” Jensen said to him, knocking their beers together where they were sitting on the couch. “Your first day.”

“Sorry to disappoint you but, I’ve been here before,” Misha deadpanned.

“No, dude, that’s your first  _ real full blown Supernatural experience _ day” he emphasized, gesturing towards Jared slouching in the recliner chair with a malicious grin on his face.

“You mean until now?”

“You were saved from the full Padalecki experience,” Jensen finished for him.

“You know you were not helping,” Misha narrowed his eyes at him causing Jensen to sink more into the cushions and giggle, warmth in his cheeks.

“Jackles is my trusty sidekick,” Jared said smugly. “After all he’s number 2 on the call sheet.”

“Shut up, asshole,” Jensen threw a decorative pillow in  _ number-one-on-the-call-sheat’s _ general direction as they all laughed.

“You know, Misha,” Jared said unfazed, “if it goes on like that, soon you’ll be number 3. The fans love Castiel and the studio is seriously eyeing you. Also you make an excellent victim.”

“Do tell, have you heard from Kripke?” Jared leaned forward in expectation.

“Well,” Misha started, studying the label of his beer, and Jensen’s ears suddenly perked up, “yes, they’d like to keep me, keep Castiel as the boys’ main angel.”

“Cool,” Jared grinned.

“Congratulations, man,” Jensen added, punching Misha’s knee. He was surprised at the genuine happiness he felt at this news. When he thought of it, parting ways with the guy would be kind of weird after the dynamics they’ve built this year.

“The sad thing is,” Misha continued “They’ll cut out Julie. Anna was meant to be the main angel and Dean’s love interest but I guess they changed their minds.”

_ How considerate of him to care about the fellow actors when he was promoted,  _ Jensen thought _. Maybe because he’s been often in the position of the one cut out. _

“Does that mean Castiel will take that role now?” Jared interrupted the flow of Jensen’s thoughts.

Misha just laughed but didn’t say anything. Jensen threw him a quick side look and decided it was time to get more beer.

00:30

The chat went lightly after that, time moved quickly.

“So, what’s the new role you auditioned for?” Jensen chuckled, finishing his third beer.

“A guy whose superpower is to suck his own dick,” Misha’s eyes crinkled in amusement “It was honestly absurd.”

“That’s some good superpower,” Jared spoke with a sleepy voice from the comfy chair. “Can you do it?”

“I …. um,” Misha licked his lips and looked at the floor, “I am quite flexible.” Jensen licked his lips.

“No way, dude!” Jared exclaimed and almost opened an eye.

“Don’t tell me you never tried it,” Misha said at Jared and then glanced at Jensen, something unreadable in his eyes.

“I am this close,” Jared showed an inch distance between his thumb and index finger.

Jensen cleared his throat.

1:30

“You see, it’s not just the 155-horse 250-cubic-inch V8,” Jensen’s eyes gleamed as he spoke. His feet drawn close to his chest, he leaned against the armrest of the couch. His frame was tense, exuberating excitement as he faced Misha who sat against the opposite armrest, soul crushingly soft look on his face. Under the gentle accompaniment of Jared’s snoring, Jensen continued. “It’s not even how smooth the transmission is compared to the Caprice or the Bel Air, or how it’s an inch higher than any Volvo from the same year. She’s a pure beauty, man. Her lines are so clean, her silhouette is so elegant! She sets off as soon as you touch the gas and the engine purrs… What? Is there something on my face?”

“No,” Misha answered dreamily “You just love that prop, don’t you?”

“The Impala is not a prop, man!” Jensen raised his voice and got quickly hushed as Misha gestured towards Jared’s sleeping figure on the recliner. “I fell in love with her the first day I met her.”

“Will it be hard for you to part with her when the show ends?”

_ He called the car her _ , Jensen noticed content “Oh, I’m getting Baby. It’s in my contract since the second season.”

“You actually put it in your contract to receive the car after the show wrapped up?” Misha raised his eyebrows and shook his head as he wasn’t expecting anything less.

“Yes.”

“You know,” Misha rested his head on the back of the couch, “considering your love for beer is almost as strong as your love for the Impala, the plaid and the bravado, you may actually be real life Dean Winchester.”

Jensen smiled. He realized he was leaning into the cushions mirroring Misha’s posture. “What bravado?”

2:30

They were on the floor beside the gramophone. Yes, Jensen had one in his trailer because he was a star in a fucking TV show and he was entitled his eccentricities. He had vinyls as well. Right now Stairway to heaven, one of his favourites, was playing softly. Jared was still sleeping but didn’t seem to be bothered at all. The music was perfect, intoxicating. Jensen found himself lying on the carpet, eyes closed. Misha was cross-legged, studying the cover of the album.

**_There's a lady who's sure_ ** **_  
_ ** **_All that glitters is gold_ **

“It’s weird, you know. It’s about death, but it’s about how you live too,” Misha rambled. Jensen wasn’t sure if he was making any sense. “The lady is not naïve, she is cynical. She tries to cheat her way into Heaven, thinking her earthly power and old ways will get her what she wants. But that’s not gonna fly.”

**_Ooh, it makes me wonder_ ** **_  
_ ** **_And as we wind on down the road_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Our shadows taller than our soul_ **

Misha continued, “In Egyptian mythology when you die your good deeds and bad deeds are measured and the shadow is your bad self.” 

Jensen listened but wasn’t sure he understood. He may be way too drunk for that. Or Misha was. “Listen to that part,” he said, waving his hand to the mesmerizing melody.

“And on that road to the afterlife you will meet her - the greed, the falseness, the vice.” Misha didn’t notice him.

**_There walks a lady we all know_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Who shines white light and wants to show_ ** **_  
_ ** **_How everything still turns to gold_ ** **.**

“She is still trying to do her shit.” It was like Misha didn’t hear him, he was so wrapped in his own head.

**_The tune will come to you at last_ ** ****__  
**_When all are one and one is all_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_To be a rock and not to roll_

“The afterlife’s goal is unity and peace and you become a part of the universe…”

The music crescendoed and Jensen threw his head back, fully immersing himself in it.

“Do you get it?” Misha finally asked quietly at the end.

Jensen propped himself to one elbow, eyes digging into Misha’s as he said “She’s buying a stairway to Heaven.”

3:30

The rest of the album had played, as well as  _ Houses of the Holy _ and now they were halfway through  _ Physical Graffiti _ . All the beer was gone an hour ago and they were both nursing a tumbler of scotch now. Jensen’s head was floating; his eyelids were heavy with sleep. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to end the evening. Both he and Misha were mostly silent, still on the floor, backs against the couch. They were staring at each other and smiling. Jensen couldn’t tell what was happening. It was just such a nice time, he felt comfortable, at peace, at home. His index finger was drawing nonsensical lines on the carpet.

Misha stretched his neck a little and made a sound just like a cat. Maybe he would try to get up and burst the bubble.  _ Not yet _ , Jensen pleaded in his dizzy head. His eyes roamed over Misha’s frame, stopping on his ankle, just below the hem of the sweatpants. A fresh bruise was formed there, stretching towards his bare foot. Jensen reached and his fingertips brushed lightly the skin.

“Is that from Jared?” he asked, his voice unexpectedly hoarse.

“I think so,” Misha blinked but did not pull away. “He was really settled on ruining that take.”

“Does it hurt?” Jensen’s fingertips remained there. Something in his head was trying to say this was ill advised. He didn’t listen.

“No.” Misha shifted slightly towards him. The sweatpants rode higher on his calf in the process, revealing a string of old scars going upwards.

“What’s that?” Jensen traced the scars now resting his whole palm on Misha’s leg.

“When I was 13, I decided it was a good time to start carving things into my legs with an exacto knife,” the guy laughed like this was a super normal thing to do.

“Dude,” is all Jensen could mutter, his brain too lazy to form sentences. Slowly he realized he was rubbing the skin under his thumb.

“It’s fine, really,” Misha put his hand on top of Jensen’s. His skin pricked with electricity as the air thickened. The music was still playing. His eyes flickered to Misha’s lips. Yeah, his judgement was suboptimal right now. His legs felt soft and unstable even though he was sitting on the floor. Maybe if he could just lean a little forward - 

“Jesus!” They jumped abruptly. Jared was yawning and stretching from his chair. “My cousin Jesus! What time is it?”

“Uh, it’s late,” Jensen spat out, standing to his feet.

Jared searched for his shoes, trying to open his eyes as little as possible. Misha hopped to his feet, fussing around to find his belongings as well.

“Where are you going?” Jensen asked, as he watched with worry Misha go.

“To bed” growled Jared. “Tomorrow’s call’s at 7, I want to sleep in a bed for a few hours.” He eyed Jensen and Misha up and down and added simply “You two should do the same.”

“Yeah” Misha was putting his sweatshirt on and quickly heading for the door. He avoided looking at Jensen’s face.

When they left Jensen leaned against the trailer door and sighed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their interactions were always such fun. Most of the time he thought it was of the friendly variety, nothing special or weird about it. After all Jensen was super nice to everyone and that was one of the reasons everybody liked him so much. On the other hand, sometimes it was weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) for beta reading my crappy drafts.

The final few episodes of season 4 were rather Castiel heavy and Misha found himself spending more and more time on set. He enjoyed it thoroughly, even Jared’s stupid pranks (like switching the salt and the sugar labels at craft services just when Misha was getting his tea.) He felt more and more at ease with the cast and the crew. The directors were giving him amazing feedback and even some pointers to prepare for the next season over the summer.

Spending time with Jensen was different. Vicki got vocal about it around mid-March.

“Come the  _ fuck _ on, babe! This is ridiculous. You have to do something about that stupid crush of yours or I am going to flip!”

Misha didn’t even bother denying it anymore. It was obvious (if you knew what to look for) and Victoria knew him way too well. He simply grunted in discontent over the phone.

Their interactions were always such fun. Most of the time he thought it was of the friendly variety, nothing special or weird about it. After all Jensen was super nice to everyone and that was one of the reasons everybody liked him so much. On the other hand, sometimes it was weird.

“Dude, don’t you ever drink coffee?” Jensen had asked one time, just as Misha came on set with a cup of tea as usual while they were waiting to block their scene.

“Nah, not really. I get some black tea when I need the caffeine.”

“And what girly-ass shit have you got in there?” Jensen frowned and pointed at the steaming cup in Misha’s hand.

“Cinnamon apple herbal tea,” Misha took a sip with a smug expression, challenging eyes never leaving Jensen’s.

“That screams basic white girl to me.”

“Screw you, it does miracles for sore throats.”

Jensen just scoffed. His grouchy persona surfaced every now and then, especially in the mornings. Misha’s theory was that it had something to do with feeling vulnerable or nervous but he could have misread the guy.

“Must be the Castiel voice,” Jared called, just fresh out of hair and make-up.

“I have come to regret that acting choice. If I knew I’d have to do it for an entire year I’d have done something less excruciating.”

“I think Jensen regrets your acting choice too,” Jared teased, smirking at him.

“What?” Jensen grumbled, suddenly very interested in his coffee cup.

“Every time Castiel is nearby Dean’s voice drops an octave or two.”

Misha decided to not get in the middle of this since the joke could easily turn on him.

“No, it doesn’t.” Lowering his voice wasn’t helping Jensen’s argument and the ‘schoolboy making excuses’ look wasn’t either. Misha barely resisted turning this into a competition who could speak more gravelly.

“I remember the good old times of Jensen’s sweet clear voice,” Jared got an overdramatic nostalgic look on his face, “you know, last season. Now it’s all rumble – rumble. Is this a competition or something?”

“No, it’s not! Jensen snapped. The frown was doing little to take away from his attractiveness.

The next day Jensen brought cinnamon packs for their morning beverages and gave half to Misha.

\-------------------------

The chin quiver was real. So was the broken voice. And the ashamed sideways glance.

“I guess I’m not the man either of our dads wanted me to be,” Dean spoke.

The make-up was on point. The lighting guys had their game strong today. And the crew was fucking silent for once.

“It’s not me. Find someone else.” 

A perfect single tear rolled down Jensen’s… no, Dean’s face. No need for tear jerking sniff or anything. He did it all in one take. “It’s not me.”

Misha forgot how to act and stared in real genuine awe at Dean who is so similar to Jensen yet so different.

“CUT!” The director, Mike, yelled and Misha blinked trying to shake out the tingling feeling in his belly. “By the way, did you get him?” he asked, pointing at Misha.

“Yes, sir,” the second cameraman gave a thumbs up.

“So, that’s a wrap for today!”

Jensen was already getting out of the hospital bed, no sign of the chagrin on his face that was so visible a second ago.

“Guys, you both did great,” Mike said, “Misha, I don’t know if you were trying but getting your coverage at the same time as his was a genius move. You really got into it.”

“Thanks,” Misha nodded, still a little disoriented.  _ Th _ a _ t man can act,  _ he wanted to add but couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud.

He followed Jensen as he put a robe over his hospital gown then his eyes drifted to the floor.

“Want a beer?” he heard the tired Texan drawl as a hand clasped his shoulder.

“Hmm… I… yes,” he managed to respond, not sure if it was character bleed or the other way around.

“Cool, see ya in a few.”

Misha got into some regular clothes and waited for Jensen to get his make-up removed. It was past midnight but not terribly late by Supernatural wrapping standards. Normal people with regular jobs at 7 a.m. would be going to sleep but sure, there was plenty of time for a beer.

“All goo free,” Jensen grinned, motioning to his new outfit; blue sweatshirt and jeans. “Ready?”

They walked in the chilly night but fortunately there was no wind between set trailers and tents.

“You were great today,” Misha blurted out to fill the silence.

“Thanks,” Jensen smiled with what could be pegged as shyness and looked at his shoes. “You too. I’m not sure that was the shock they wanted from Castiel but I caught a glimpse on the screen – that was intense.”

“You talk about intense!” Admittedly Misha got a little over excited “Jen, you can do drama so well. You have turned Dean into a very complex character”

“He’s meant to be. Come on in,” Jensen opened his trailer door. “I’ve always seen him as such. Also I hate being typecast as the pretty boy.”

Misha fought off a smirk as he fell onto the couch with a thud, “Yeah, me too.”

“You too?” Jensen raised an eyebrow as he offered an opened beer “You played a lot of boy toys, huh?”

“A series of love interests in my 20s and early 30s. This badass thing is rather new to me.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” Jensen chuckled.

“Very funny.” The attempt to pout failed miserably and ended in a laugh. “You’d find it even funnier to know they’ll have me take some fighting lessons over the summer since I’ll be back next season.”

Jensen almost fell from the couch howling, already tears in his eyes. “You serious?” he asked after a few awkward moments .

“No, I just like to make an ass of myself,” Misha scoffed.

“You cannot be that bad. Our choreographies are pretty basic.”

“Total ego booster here,” he pressed his lips together. Jensen's eyes followed the gesture.

“C’mon” he stood and slapped Misha’s arm “Show me your best punch.”

Misha sighed and rolled his head to the backrest. “Really?” Jensen only nodded in response, his eyes gleaming playfully. In retrospect Misha’s judgement might not have been the clearest. “Fine.”

He stood and threw at Jensen what he could muster as his best attempt at being badass. The bastard just threw his head back wheezing. “You’re hilarious, dude.” A moment passed “Oh, that was for real? Please, let me show you some moves so you don’t embarrass yourself next time” It was Jensen’s turn to be over excited as Misha gave him the biggest eye roll in history.

“At 1 a.m.?”

“C’mon,” Jensen got into guard position.

Worst decision ever. A few air blows and blocks were exchanged; every one of them getting Misha more confused and disoriented than before. His imitation of Jensen’s movements was pathetic yet he thought:  _ If you squint really hard this could be fun. _

Now Jensen got into guard position again. “Hit me.”

Misha tried a right hook and before he knew it his arm was in a lock and a quick kick in his shin got him on his knees. “You asshole,” he gritted between his teeth and threw all his weight at Jensen, praying his arm wouldn't break. It didn’t but the move didn’t help much, it just got them both in a pile of limbs squirming around. Jensen’s body grinded against his and Misha totally failed to ignore the smell of shampoo and stage make-up. Laughter gave way to grunting in exertion and biology was starting to betray him. Immediate escape was paramount! Their legs were tangled and in trying to squirm away he felt Jensen’s… hm... hardness. Brain short circuiting. Jensen let go quickly, both rolling away, a little bit out of breath. Someone cleared their throat.

“I should go” Misha mumbled, keeping his eyes strictly on the floor as he walked away quickly.

\-----------------------

“You nervous?” Jensen asked, offering tea in a paper cup with Sudney’s sun logo.

“Yeah, As  _ fuck! _ ” Misha nodded, forehead wrinkled in worry.

“You shouldn’t be, it’s just an hour in front of the crowd that watches us.”

“It’s an hour in front of a crowd!” Misha exclaimed, feeling genuinely distressed, but Jensen just laughed. “I am not a stage performer, Jen.”

“It’s gonna be fine, Mish, I promise. The key is to keep it simple – get there, get done, get lost,” he smirked mischievously. “Also they allow alcohol before and sometimes during the thing.”

Misha stared at him for a moment. “Do you hate cons?” he cocked his head.

“No, conventions have always been a mixed bag for me,” Jensen responded, fatigue evident in his voice “On one hand, any disillusions you have about the art of being a TV actor are destroyed. The big network bosses put you on display – ‘Dance, monkey! Dance!’” Jensen said the last sentences in a loud obnoxious voice while mock dancing like a string puppet. “On the other hand, you do meet the people that consume our work, some of whom we’ve really touched. They’re usually so enthusiastic and when they’re not asking about your preferred underwear, they can be quite nice to talk to. You can feel like what you do really matters.” Jensen smiled gazing in the mid distance and Misha smiled, gazing at him. “Then you can go back to your little monkey dance” he finished in the usual grumpy dad mode.

Misha was struggling to remember what they were talking about or why he was worried 5 minutes ago.

“You’ll be great, Mish” Jensen patted him on the back, his eyes more reassuring than his words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My intention with the last two chapters was to show some real friendship growing before inevitable smutty and romantic stuff comes along (though I don’t know yet how comfortable I’d be writing smut)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danneel and Vicki's POVs on All Hell Break Loose convention in Sidney 2009

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few things that would really help - [ this autographs moment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HT-udCY7SE&list=LL&index=1) and [this, 3:00 till 3:50](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiPkbFqhCgk&t=288s). Both this real life cluster fucks were referenced in the chapter so I guess you'd have better reading experience if you're familiar with them.

Vicki offered her some glazed peanuts. “You know, I’ve never been to Australia before.”

“Oh, it’s great, we should do the touristy stuff,” Dani said, munching on a peanut. “Those are good, by the way.”

“Never thought I’d be the wife of a successful enough actor to travel the world and not sleep in a hostel.”

“Our guys are the big shots here,” Dani chuckled with the faintest sliver of sarcasm in her voice. 

“Waiting’s the worst,” she sighed as the barely legal kid handling his favorite actors nervously looked around making sure everything was settled. Then the doors opened for the horde of fans urging to take their autographs.

“They are being unreasonable, Vicki,” Danneel whispered, pointing at their husbands who were taking their seats. The handler made an apologetic sign to quiet her down while accommodating them on the chairs just behind the main table.

“Have some patience, Dee, and meanwhile enjoy the show,” Dani was offered the most devilish of smiles.

“He wouldn’t even talk about the possibility!” God, she was frustrated.

“Your man is indeed a difficult one,” Vicki nodded shortly. “Yet something leads me to believe he’s not far from breaking.” She smirked , her gaze fixed on the table before them. Jensen and Jared were smoothly and professionally signing endless photos, merch and various stuff; it was like they were born to do it. Misha on the other table was making long ass eye contact with the fans and taking way too much time for each one. “Look, look there,” Vicki pointed as discreetly as possible (read not very).

“Oh, I couldn’t see you for a while, I got nervous,” Dani heard Jensen say as he leaned to see beyond the tall girl whose picture he was just signing. She couldn’t see his face from her spot but she knew that voice and she could bet he had a goofy smile on.

Misha on the other side was glowing and grinning at Jensen, “It was hard. Like being in the water without a life jacket. Scary.” 

“What was?” Jared asked matter of factly as the tall fan moved to him.

“Not being able to see him,” Misha answered. Jensen was melting.  _ Un-fucking-believable! _ Danneel elbowed Vicki in the ribs, eyes widening with every passing moment. 

The guys laughed and Dani felt a grin stretching her own face. They were so adorable.

“Oh, he’s there, he’s there,” Jared assured as the fan got to Misha.

“Is he?” Misha’s eyes crinkled again, still glued to Jensen.

“You see how they look at each other?” Dani turned to her accomplice. “If I wasn’t so turned on by the idea I’d be a little jealous!”

“You see, there is progress,” Vicki smiled contentedly.

\-------

“We wouldn’t be able to see anything from here,” Vicki complained as they stood backstage in the green room, drinking whiskey from paper cups like teenagers.

“Oh, you want to watch your boy on stage for the first time,” Dani smiled and tugged her sleeve pulling her towards the hallway. It was much more brightly lit than the backstage “I usually find those a little boring. There are always the same 5 questions and the same network restrictions prevent any real fun. But c’mon I’ll show you a way.”

They went past a small excited crowd of fans who couldn’t be inside the panel room but still were hanging around, hoping to catch a glimpse of some of the stars. Luckily, she and Daneel weren’t the focus of the event and could wander off blessedly anonymous and unbothered. The fans were kids mostly, 16-18 years old, chatting in hushed voices, muffling their embarrassing squeaks every now and then. Somehow Vicki was reminded of a wild crowd at a Beatles concert in the 60s, consisting predominantly of women throwing their undergarments on stage. She smiled at the idea of someone throwing used underwear at Misha. That would be something Vicki would mock him about forever. Apparently there were Dean girls and Sam girls. The respective fractions had a little feud about who was better.  _ Were there Castiel girls? Probably _ . But so far they seemed to be fewer and quieter. 

Misha was fascinated with the fandom as he called it -  _ the collective hive mind of his spectators _ . He read reviews, and forums and looked at photoshopped pictures and drawings of his character. Often he came to Vicki with a strained face - “They liked this part” or “They really hated that scene”. After years of one-offs he was very eager to please the audience and sometimes Vicki thought it wasn’t very healthy.

Danneel pushed her through an unmarked side door and they found themselves just behind the thick curtain on the left from the stage. They could easily observe the show without being noticed. At the moment, Jared and Jensen were drawing something on what seemed like plain white T-shirts and Misha was sitting on a chair next to them, holding a microphone.  _ He seems a little tense _ , Vicki thought.

“What’s that?” she asked, nudging Dani.

“900,” proclaimed a loud female voice.

“I think Jensen told me there would be an auction,” Dani said. Jared and Jesen were showing the T-shirts to the audience, something was written there but it was quite hard to read it from their angle. “They’re designing shirts” she continued, grinning “I bet Jensen wrote something stupid.”

“Someone would pay for that?” Vicki asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Oh, yeah,” the other woman nodded. Vicki scrunched her nose. She and Misha had had enough money problems to be irritated by how people choose to waste their money . “It’s for a charity - ”

“Oh, Misha would love that,” Vicki smiled, feeling a warm wave of affection for her husband.

“He does seem like such a sweet person,” Dani’s voice had a fond note to it before almost shouting. “What are they doing?!”

Jared had his designed T-shirt on and was bending over in front of Misha who was apparently trying to sign it, both of them laughing their asses off. As Misha pushed the overgrown goofball of a man in an even more suggestive position, Daneel’s mouth formed a silent ‘O’.

“Yes, he’s always like that,” Vicki informed before being inevitably asked. 

“No, no, no,” Dani shook her head. “Look at Jensen.”

Jensen was indeed a curious picture. He was sitting on a chair in the opposite end of the stage, furthest away from his feisty colleagues, as well as from Vicki and Dani. He was folded in two, elbow on his knee, hiding his face in his palm. His entire frame was sending off distress vibes. Vicki was finding it very funny actually. The crowd was howling too.

“My God, he didn’t expect that,” she chuckled a little. “Do you think he’ll have a freak out?”

“He definitely didn’t expect it,” Dani’s voice was reaching a dangerously high pitch. “Oooh-,” Jensen turned his head a little, still in his awkward position, but he couldn’t help peeking at the scene next to him. Misha was holding Jared’s hips for support and writing what obviously was a novel on his back.

“Your poor boyfriend, Dee,” Vicki couldn’t contain her giggles, “I think he might be a little jealous.”

“A little?” Dani exclaimed. “He’s shooting daggers from his eyes. He’ll be grouchy for days now.”

When Jared was finally released, he tried to go towards Jensen who jumped from his chair and walked away, avoiding any contact. Misha sat back in his chair, a smug expression on his face.  _ Oh, you’re pleased with yourself, you lucky bastard, _ Vicki thought.

“Tell me, Vicki,” Danneel turned towards her, “did Misha do that on purpose?”

“Oh yeah,” she nodded shortly, “he’s getting tired of waiting for your boyfriend to come around.”

\------

“Come here, baby,” Jensen’s voice was low and rough as he pulled Danneel in his arms, clumsily attempting to undo the button on her blouse.

“Easy, cowboy,” she giggled but the effect of her words seemed to be the opposite. 

He let an audible growl out, picking her up, throwing her on the almost comfortable hotel bed, attempting to rid her of every piece of clothing as quickly as possible. Dani was just a little tipsy and as delightful as Jensen’s ministrations were she understood they were the result of the unusual and unnerving convention day he had had. 

After all the panels, photos and autographs were done, there was only a short dinner with the cast as they all had a very early flight. They were all exhausted at the end of the weekend. Jensen had been particularly quiet the entire time, sticking close to Dani, holding her hand or squeezing her knee at every opportunity. He markedly avoided Jared and Misha who seemed completely back to normal as if the afternoon event at the panel was just a funny jab. Danneel didn’t get a chance to speak to Vicki the entire evening but at some point her phone buzzed with a text.

**Take good care of your boy tonight** , was all it said.

So when Jensen pulled her upstairs to their room earlier than expected, Dani decided to oblige. After all, who was she to argue with Vicki’s advice. She was surprised by how aggressive Jensen turned out to be tonight but she was enjoying it as much as she was finding it funny. A small moan escaped her lips as he left a trail of kisses on her neck, stopping to suck a mark on her clavicle. She could feel his erection pressed on her hip as his hands were lifting her thighs to bracket him. 

Dani was getting quite eager as well, her mind a jumbled mess with the events of the day and the desires floating around there from much earlier. She pushed Jensen’s briefs down his hips and palmed his ass. She let herself go on instinct as her fingers squeezed a little, tentatively descending between the cheeks, exploring. The jolt of excitement in her center was overwhelming. They remained like that, Dani finding her way through unknown territory and Jensen slightly rocking his hips and kissing her chest and shoulders. Pleasure was steadily building in her belly when suddenly:

“I’m sorry, babe,” Jensen whispered, going lax on top of her. His erection was gone and with a dissatisfied groan he rolled on the other side of the bed. “Must be the alcohol.”

Dani definitely could remember spectacular performances from Jensen when he had had a lot more to drink, so it must be her little experiment. Worry tightened in her chest, she really didn’t mean to push more than she should but talking about it beforehand would be a certain mood breaker. 

“It’s okay,” she whispered softly, attempting a soothing caress on his chest. “Is something bothering you?”

“I…uh…no,” he didn’t pull away which was a good sign. “Can we just go to sleep?”

“Yeah,” she said, pillowing her head on his shoulder but couldn’t chase the worry from her head.

Hours later, she woke up to find Jensen on the opposite side of the bed, shifting agitatedly. The glowing clock on the nightstand indicated that it was 3:04 a.m. It was more than 3 hours since their failed sex session and Dani doubted Jensen had had any sleep. She moved carefully to his side, reaching for his face but not touching it.

“Babe,” she began in a calm voice. There was no response. “Jen, are you okay?”

“Dani,” he turned to her, eyes bloodshot and tense.

“Jensen, I’m sorry if something I did made you uncomfortable.” There was no use in beating around the bush here. Any relationship that wanted to survive long distance and overbearing schedules, should rely on honesty.

“Dani,” he said again, inhaling deeply. 

An ancient insecurity crept in the back of Danneel’s mind but she forced herself to push it away.  _ That’s a hell of a stipid way to screw up the best relationship I’ve ever had _ , she admonished, heart heavy. “You can say it, Jensen, I understand,” she swallowed thick.

“I kind of liked it,” he blurted out, squeezing his eyes shut, “I liked what you did. I know that makes me less of a man in your eyes and - ” 

“That was it?” She laughed in spite of herself. Relief was spreading in waves throughout her body “I thought we are breaking up, you dummy!”

“We’re not?” There was a hint of disbelief and confusion in his voice.  _ Oh, he was just playing stoic. _

“Do you want to?” Dani asked, finally managing to bring her hand to stroke his shoulder.

“No,” he said firmly. “But there are things about me that you don’t know, Dani.”

Danneel held off another laugh. She was still on thin ice here. “That you like butt stuff?”

“Not only -,” he started.

“Oh, poor baby,” she cut him off and surged to kiss his cheek “Nobody told you it’s ok to like things.” Jensen kept staring at her with sad and confused eyes “And people.”

“Wow, Dani,” he pulled away, eyes widening. “I don’t -”

“It’s ok, Jen,” she soothed, “I’m not saying anything. Just that it’s fine. It would be fine if you…” she didn’t finish, simply shrugged.

“What… what are we talking about here?” He struggled with his words, frowning, fighting to keep his stoic look.

Dani could see the wheels turning in his head. Maybe a realization was dawning on him but she decided this was good enough for tonight. She gave him a tight lipped smile and dragged her hand along the side of his body. When he responded with an insecure smile of his own she brought out her most seductive voice “Why don’t we finish what we started earlier?”

“Yeah, we should do that,” he purred low, looping an arm around her neck and pulling her on top of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) for beta reading my crappy drafts.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At San Diego Comic Con 2009, things got pretty interesting. Jensen's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays, everyone!   
> That's my gift for y'all, hope you like it.
> 
> [ The naked Dutch painter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvLdOH1ZiRA&ab_channel=UkuuMubakoLummubaTafari) song is one of [ Misha's favorites](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqQi4ReiC3A&ab_channel=oppanya)

**Will I see you this weekend in San Diego?** Jensen typed, his thumb hovering above the send button. He deleted the message. Then he typed it again and deleted it again.  _ What am I? A 13 years old? _ He could imagine Misha’s cheeky joke in response.

**Did they schedule you for Comic Con?** He finally wrote and quickly pressed ‘Send’ before he had any chance to overthink it. He shut his eyes, cringing, and threw his phone on the bed across the room and away from him. He was fidgety, palm sweating and his mind couldn’t make a lick of sense why. There was nothing wrong in wanting to see a friend. Especially since Jensen hadn’t seen Misha since April. They had been messaging, mostly sending each other memes, funny cat videos and sometimes just brief updates on what they were doing. 

At multiple points in the summer, he found himself thinking what it would be if Misha was there . Not about a special occasion or anything, just on normal mundane everyday activities. Like having a garden party in his parent’s house with his siblings, their spouses and Dani. They were having a barbecue and Jensen remembered that one time he had promised Misha to show him real Texan barbecue. Another time he was with Jared down in LA in the CW production offices discussing the next season arc. Their ideas about Castiel were a little scattered all over the place; in Jensen’s opinion they were using him as a  _ deus-ex-machina _ solution to a lot of troubles. Misha would have been able to explain much better than him about how cohesion in Castiel’s character would work. And of course, there was that day on the beach when he was laying on the warm sand next to Dani and was blissfully nursing a beer. The only way of improving the experience he could think of was having Misha there, dorky shorts, goofy smile, wind blown hair - the full package. 

His phone buzzed, interrupting the memory tangent. The family of butterflies that had moved in his belly shifted. He watched the orange notification indicator light blink at the left upper corner of the screen but didn’t move. This was completely ridiculous.

“Aren’t you gonna get that?” Danneel asked, coming to hug him from behind, chin resting on this shoulder.

“Yeah, sure,” he shifted uncomfortably.

“It’s Misha isn’t it?” She asked, a knowing grin on her face. It was visible to the naked eye she was barely concealing curiosity and a sarcastic remark.

“So?” he shrugged and went to pocket his phone without looking at it.

“You’re gonna see him this weekend, right?” Dani leaned on the wall, crossing her arms. “His flight is Saturday morning.”

“He’s coming?” Jesnen cursed the treacherous eagerness in his voice.

“Obviously.” He couldn’t pinpoint why she was looking so pleased with herself. 

“You talked to him?”

“Mhm. He sent me pictures of the most obnoxious matching shirts that he and Vicki acquired recently,” she chuckled. “They were looking like a hippy elephant threw up on them.”

_ Why wasn’t Jensen getting any of those pictures? _ “Since when are you two pals sending each other photos and stuff?”

“Since I met him,” she deadpanned. “It wouldn’t have been possible before that.”

“Aren’t you two birds of the same feather,” Jensen scoffed. But yeah, he was just realizing this was the same kind of dumb joke Misha would have made.

“Don’t worry, honey, I’m not gonna take him from you,” Danneel grinned, slapping his ass and leaving the room.  _ Yeah, very funny, _ Jensen frowned to himself.

\---------------------

The flight from Texas to San Diego wasn’t long but the waiting at the airport was appalling - hours in a crowded space and the airconditioning was underperforming. Jensen was sweaty, tired and annoyed, waiting in the hotel lobby because his room wasn’t  _ fucking _ ready. He was silently thankful that after 4 years of doing this the network had finally decided to book him and Jared separate rooms in a nice hotel. The memory of the first and second year when they made them share a cramped double room at every convention and promotion event they participated in was now leaving an unpleasant taste in his mouth. At the time he had thought it was a great opportunity he was granted and was simply walking the clearcut stairs to success. God, he was young and naive back then.

Sitting like this in a hotel lobby, musing grimly, with Cliff and Rob hanging nearby, Jensen spotted Misha walking through the glass door. He had a light blue suit jacket on top of a checkered pink shirt, sunglasses on, dragging a beige suitcase behind him. He looked ridiculous. Someday Jensen would get his hands on him  _ (in a non-creepy way _ , his brain felt the need to add) and dress him in some proper clothes. Then Misha would be really stunning. 

Jensen stood up to greet him, surprised by how nervous he felt about it. A grin was stretching on his face and before he could even think about his own less than perfect state Misha shouted:

“Jackles!” and pulled him in a hug. Maybe some people would consider it longer than normal, but Jensen just relaxed, hearing Misha say a much quieter “Hey ” in his ear while squeezing him tight.

“Hi,” he managed to answer as Misha pulled away, one hand tracing Jensen’s arm, lingering on his wrist for a moment. Then he proceeded to greet Cliff with a hug and Rob and Jared who strolled in primadonna- style from the hotel bar. Jensen blinked blankly, rubbing absentmindedly at his wrist with his other hand.

That’s how the weekend kicked off. The schedule was hectic and since Jensen was one of “the leads” he was pulled in every direction, dragged up and down as the good dancing monkey that he was. He much preferred smaller events with closer interaction with the fans and less official stuff. As the panels, photo ops, interviews, autographs and meet and greets went on, he found himself gravitating more and more towards Misha every chance he got. Also it seemed to be mutual.

While in the middle of an hours long autograph session a Creation crew member came to inform Jensen in an objectionable voice that he needed to hurry up since they had a lot to do that day, his mood soured and he struggled to keep his nice attitude. Out of nowhere Misha appeared beside him. “Just relax,” he whispered, rubbing Jensen’s shoulder firmly not letting go until he heard a deflating sigh.

At another point in the green room, he found himself leaning towards Misha, tugging on his baby blue jacket. “What is this? You look like a pastel mess,” he rumbled, still feeling kind of grumpy. “You should get rid of it.”

“You want me to undress here?” Misha teased with a grin. By the main panel, he had on a much nicer black blazer on. Jensen had a very hard time concentrating throughout the entire thing.

By the evening Jensen’s head was clouded with physical and emotional fatigue. Well, the alcohol didn’t help much. His memories of this are generally foggy. At some point he and Misha had tumbled through the door into his hotel room, arm around each other’s shoulder, trying semi successfully to keep their balance. They were laughing very hard at something that none of them could recall at that point. Jensen was flushed, tears in his eyes, feeling all warm inside, like he was in a bubble of surrealism where nothing is completely real. 

“Please don’t show anyone your impression of a Texan, you dork,” Jensen said, catching his breath as they bumped into the kitchen cabinets.

“You don’t own a gun, you barely have any accent,” Misha gripped the counter, his other hand still firmly around Jensen’s shoulder. “You’re spoiling a perfectly good stereotype.” 

“I’m fairly good at horseback riding,” Jesnen said matter-of-factly.

“Oh, you're good at riding, huh?” Misha turned towards him and he realized their faces were way too close. Jensen opened his mouth to say something but only licked his lips, eyes travelling up and down Misha’s face. Then they both burst into another fiddle of laughter.

“Sure’nuff,” he drawled and Misha’s eyes narrowed; dark. “Lemme get us a beer,” he tapped his friend’s chest and reached for the fridge. 

Misha was still leaning against the counter as he opened the bottles and handled him one. The silent tension was rising as the blue eyes kept following his every movement and Jensen didn’t dare to put a name to that stare. In the back of his mind there was a realization forming, an intention based just on instinct and impaired inhibition.

“We need some music,” Misha finally announced loudly, stepping up and putting his hand in Jensen’s jeans pocket to get his iPod. The entire thing was so outrageous and surprising that Jensen could only gulp, wide-eyed. 

Misha connected the device to the actually decent hotel stereo and put some weird song on. Since the couch was literally a torture device in disguise he thumped on the bed, crossing his ankles on top of the covers. 

“What?” He asked, looking at Jensen who was still standing flabbergasted in the middle of the kitchenette. “Last time you chose the music, now it’s my turn.”

_ The song, right. _ Jensen thought, only now noticing it. It sounded like a children’s song, cheerful but kind of slow.

“Is that a kid’s song?” He asked, sitting carefully on the other side of the bed.

**_The naked Dutch painter in the kitchen does not want to fuck you_ ** , sang a soft male voice and Jensen couldn’t help but laugh. 

  
**_She's got seventeen boyfriends and an eight o'clock class to get to..._ **

“Realy, what the fuck is this?” he repeated, amused.

“It’s  _ the naked dutch painter _ ,” Misha shrugged with the most innocent grin on his face. “I love it, it is like a nursery rhyme.”

“Yeah,” Jensen giggled again “I can imagine you playing that to your kids one day.”

“Why not?” Misha raised his voice, earning himself a disbelieving look.

For some time they just listened to the song. The lyrics continued to become ever more ridiculous and the singing remained as imperturbable as in the beginning. Misha was mouthing every line without a sound, eyes closed. A warm smile stretched across Jensen’s lips as he observed the supposedly grown up man with one of the most serene child-like expressions on his face ever to be seen.

“I know the painter in the song is a ‘she’,” he began in an attempt to deflect the situation, “but I can't help imagining Rembrandt.”

Misha roared a laugh and turned towards him, propping himself on an elbow. “Do you imagine many old Dutch guys naked?”

“Hey ” Jensen chuckled right back at him, “he does not wanna fuck me, apparently .” If he was in his right mind he would be blushing and scolding himself right now but it was Comic con and he was kind of drunk.

“He would be an exception,” Misha blurted out. About a second later his words seemed to catch up with his brain and he tensed. “I think I should go,” he sat up abruptly, horror on his face.

“Yeah, it’s late,” Jensen fussed around getting on his feet, putting the beer bottle away.

He was holding the door open for Misha, searching for something to say, when the vague intention that had formed earlier in his head got a grip on him. Tonight was already a night to be forgotten and never spoken of again so what time better than the present. They were standing at the doorstep, only a foot apart, silent for a change. His eyes lingered at Misha’s lips.  _ Just a quick little one. A peck,  _ he reasoned _. To get it out of my system. To make sure there is nothing there _ . Jensen's stomach was in knots and his knees kind of trembled.  _ Now _ , his brain urged,  _ do it now! _

“Mish...” he whispered, the word barely audible.

Like that, Jensen surged forward and planted a short tight-lipped kiss on Misha’s mouth. He pulled away immediately. Misha didn’t look surprised or repelled, just calm. Jensen could count every eyelash. His heart was going to beat out of his chest but he leaned forward again, sealing their lips for longer this time. Again, Misha did not move. Just as Jensen was thinking about pulling away, apologizing profoundly, pouring bleach on his face, changing his name and moving to New Guinea, Misha reciprocated with a small movement. 

Ten seconds earlier, he couldn’t have imagined that his heart could beat any faster. Obviously, it could because he could hear it rumbling in his ears. Misha’s lips were dry, his stubble scratchy, as his hands wandered up Jensen’s shoulders. The sensation was foreign, Jensen had thought he had forgotten it. The kiss was slowly deepening and he gripped Misha’s sides for support. This wasn’t working, wasn't getting  _ it _ out of his system, whatever  _ it _ was. If anything, he was craving more. 

When a small moan escaped his parted lips, Misha pulled away.  _ His palms are huge, _ Jensen realized as they travelled up his neck to cup his face, thumbs stroking gently. 

“Goodnight, Jensen,” Misha’s voice came out hushed, his eyes staring into Jensen’s soul. Then when he was turning to walk away, he said “Just one more, for good measure,” and gave Jensen one last small peck on the corner of his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) couldn't have done it without you.


	11. The Rant - a non-chapter!

First thing first - Happy New year, guys!

Second - no chapter today, very sorry. This is a random author rant and if you're not into that feel free to skip it. Actually don't skip it since I do believe it's important and something that needs to be talked about.

Since the last chapter I've hit a brick wall in my writing. Some plot stuff, some style difficulties but mainly I got into an ethical crisis about RPF. I like to tell myself I write about **characters** strongly inspired by the actors’ public personas and I try to be respectful, since real people’s personal lives are none of my business. As it is said in the summary of the fiction **none of this is remotely accurate or real!** Recent events had me thinking a lot. 

Man, **_we as a fandom have boundaries issues!_**

People tagging Misha and Jensen on Cockles content? Congratulating them on their ‘anniversary’? How dumb is that? All the talk what hot mess the next Cockles panel will be if we ever get one. Can we, and I do include myself, as a community be at least somewhat adequate? And then there was the incident of whoever that complete idiot was who dug out Misha’s article about Monica Lewinsky from 20 years ago and **SPECULATED** about his supposed attraction to the fucking US president! And this shit got public. Then a few days later some other person wrote an actual fanfiction about Misha and Bill Clinton. I was mortified. Some of that got to Misha and he was understandably pissed. Now he is very very quiet on the internet. So is Jensen. No matter how sad this makes me, we deserve it. Misha obviously cares about politics and wants to make good to the community and we created a mini shit storm about his time as a White House intern. This could really damage his image and undermine his work. 

Guys, this is harassment. 

This got me thinking about how my fic relates to this culture that clearly can hurt the guy I like so much I wrote a fucking story about. I am trying to make my peace with RPF since I really love the JenMish story. I just hope ao3 is underground enough so the crazy doesn’t spill over. 

Sigh. Rant over. Sorry. And thank you if you read so far. I hope I will be back with the next chapter soon. 

Peace out


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit up, Danneel!
> 
> That's it, that's the summary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, after my RPF ranting and crisis I am back. My stance have not changed - this is fiction and if you like it even a bit - please be reasonable and keep it on the down low of ao3, tumblr and the usual internet niche away from mainstream stuff. Yet I chose to continue it,indulging my faith that this star stuck sweetness that radiates from JenMish on their public appearances can exist in this world without causing pain.

Season 5 shooting was scheduled to start a week after San Diego Comic Con. As always the day before that there was the Last Hoorah party. Since the cast and crew alike were going to spend the next 9 months working excruciating hours, away from family, this was the opportunity to say goodbye to the hiatus life. 

Many spouses and family members were invited for the event. Danneel was one of them. No matter how often she tried to fly to visit Jensen and the other way around, they almost never managed to be a normal couple except for a couple of Summer months. This time around she really did have a blast at the party. Mainly because Misha was there, even though Vicki wasn’t able to attend. She was really coming to appreciate how special this man really was. At one moment he could be loud and goofy and plain weird, like when he tried to lick Rob Benedict’s scruffy face with the longest tongue Dani had ever seen. At the next he would be calm, shy even, engaging in deep conversation.

Right now they were sitting around an old fashioned table in Bob Singer’s Vancouver house garden in the late July afternoon. Dani was wearing a long summer dress, black with big blossoms on it. Misha was talking passionately while twirling some flowers he had picked up secretly from a flower bed earlier.

“The border between Haiti and Dominican Republic has been closed for so long, for decades,” he rambled, his hands never stopping the work on the plant stems, but his eyes never leaving Dani’s. “That harbours disastrous economic inequality. If you see pictures of the island from the air, you could literally see how burned and devastated Haiti is compared to their neighbour, all of which starts with the colonists.”

Dani listened, mesmerized, despite having little to contribute at the moment. Talking to a person like Misha who was smart, kind and down to earth was really a reality check in the world of show business where things tended to be so superficial.

“It saddens me a lot to see Haiti on the top of poverty charts and child hunger when they have such a brave and inspiring history,” he continued “I’d like to do something about it, no matter how small or insignificant in the grand scale of things, like food packages or medical aid.”

“You should totally do that,” Dani exclaimed, gripping his wrist enthusiastically. From the corner of her eye she spotted Jensen staring at them from across the garden. “You know, you can do… a thing, like a non-profit. I’d love to help.”

“Do you think we’d have enough leverage?” he squinted.

“Sure, have you seen the hordes of fans your show has? Use them for good.” Probably she was getting ahead of herself but excitement was going straight to her head. 

“That’d be brilliant, Dani!” Misha’s eyes were wide and bright “You could be my co-chairman. Here,” he took his plant creation that resembled a skimpy flower crown and put it on her head. “Just like the ones on your dress.”

As Dani chuckled delighted, Jensen appeared beside them and took her hand 

“We should go, honey,” he said firmly. Danneel raised her brows in question but the look on his face made her follow him without hesitation .

As soon as they arrived in Jensen’s apartment and the door clicked closed behind them he pinned her to the wall and licked on her neck. This wasn't completely surprising or unusual but Dani could remember another incident that played out in an eerily similar way. She moaned a little as her fingers dug into Jensen’s hair and he flipped her around with a low growl. Dani leaned against the wall, resting her head back on his shoulder, her mind clouding. Before she knew it her dress was pulled up and Jensen’s nimble fingers were working on her through the thin fabric of her panties. Yes, she knew exactly what this was about.

“Do you think about him?” she asked, struggling to keep an even voice.

“What?” he breathed without stopping his ministrations, erection pressed on her lower back. 

“Do you think about Misha?”

“No.” Jensen tensed but didn’t show any signs of backing off.

“Liar,” she hissed. At this point Dani already knew how hard she could press him on the subject of Misha.

“Don’t be weird, Dee,” his breath was hot against her skin as he nibbled at her earlobe, hands roaming everywhere.

“Well, I am thinking about him,” Dani’s eyes were closing despite her efforts to keep a level head.

“Do you think about him now?” Jensen pushed two fingers inside her and she gasped. 

“Yeah…” she moaned, circling her hips against his hand “Can’t you imagine him here with us?”

“Danneel…,” Jensen warned.

“By the way where is your ring?” She was determined to push him over the edge this time.

“Shut up, Danneel,” his voice sang. His other hand came over Dani’s mouth and her small moans got muffled but more frantic as a third finger was added inside her.

Dani licked his palm and took one finger into her mouth. “You don’t want me to… oh, yeah..” her hands found his cock, hot and hard in his pants. “I know you have thought about him… oh…”

“He is my friend.” Jensen’s attempts to remain a matter-of-fact were adorable and completely in vain. Secrecy was never his strength when it came to Danneel.

“A friend you have no problem talking about during sex” Dani noted and the zipper slided down.

Jensen bit her neck - he did know how to make her squirm. She was soft and boneless, between the wall and his body. She was about to fall apart but this verbal play was getting just far enough so she collected all her strength to continue. “When you… _ gasp _ …look at him on set… or like today…  _ yeah _ … relaxed, having a beer…  _ fuck _ … all blue eyes and bright smiles...” Meanwhile Jensen’s hand left her neck, traveling across her chest until it reached her ass. The fingers withdrew and after a small pause helped to hastily reposition her dress. A smack on her asscheek made Dani keen a little. “…can’t you imagine if it was him here against this wall?” Jensen thrusted sharply inside her and the pleasure got so intense Dani’s head emptied of all coherent thoughts and she just moaned with his every movement.

“Continue…” Jensen groaned, pressing on her back gently in order to bend her down more. 

Dani chuckled despite her labored breathing “ I knew it…  _ fuck, fuck, fuck _ … come on…” skin slapping on skin sound echoed obcenely in the entrance hall, Jensen’s groans were getting louder. “You wanna bend him over …  _ right...there _ …” Each one of her words was an effort. “To listen to his voice rumble low… God I’m close…”

“Jesus, Danneel” Jensen screamed, his rhythm getting frantic.

They came together, still mostly clothed, falling into a messy pile of tangled bodies on the floor.

“That was-,” he panted.

“Intense,” she finished.

“You’re a strange woman, you know that?” Jensen squeezed her hand in his, a tender smile on his handsome face.

“I’ve been told.”

“You’re beautiful, and you’re smart, and you’re kinky as fuck.” They both laughed tiredly. “I’m lucky to have you.” His hand dipped into his pocket. “I want to have you forever.” 

_ Oh no _ , Dani’s mind short circuited as Jensen opened his palm to reveal a simple but elegant silver ring with a small stone.

“Danneel, would you-”

“You’re proposing to me right after we have sex, talking about a third person?!” She shouted.

“I…” he stuttered, face flushing red.

“You’re messed up, Ackles!” Her brain couldn’t settle on only one emotion - there was surprise, annoyance, joy and something that wanted to smack Jensen’s face in a not fun way. It was overwhelming.

“Is this a no?” The fear in his words was almost palpable.

“No,” she spat out, surprising even herself.

“Is it a yes?”

“I don’t know… I guess so.” As soon as the words came out of Dani’s mouth, Jensen surged and kissed her desperately. When he pulled away there were tears in his eyes that he would most definitely never admit being there. Dani felt burning in her own eyes so she decided to turn the mood around a bit “Wait a minute, did you give me a ring after you gave Misha one?” she asked, barely concealing a laugh.

“Shut up, Danneel,” Jensen snorted and kissed her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refrenced the [first Cockles ring](https://fire-of-fire.tumblr.com/post/75050293287/the-ring-timeline)  
>  in this chapter in case you're not familiar. Will be dealing with it more later.
> 
> Thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) couldn't have done it without you.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha's POV. Beginning of season 5 rolls around. Time stamps according to last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys long time no see. Recently I've had a total amount of zero free time and my story progress is dragging painfully, so enjoy what I have so far.

**A week earlier**

“Oh, Jensen, it’s beautiful,” Misha gasped, studying the silver ring in Jensen’s open palm. They were flying back from San Diego to LA for some final preparations before the new season. The noise from the airplane engine was concealing their conversation from the rest of the cast, most of whom were catching up on some sleep since they were taking an early flight at an ungodly hour. Misha had expected awkwardness, maybe avoidance or even drama after the previous night’s kiss but there was none of that. Jensen had easily slipped back into their usual routine. If he didn’t know better, Misha would’ve believed that the kiss never happened or that Jensen did not remember it happening.

“So, you like it?” His green eyes gleamed as he handed Misha the ring. It was indeed beautiful even though a little surprising.

“Danneel will love it,” Misha smiled, the silver was warm in his hand. He was really happy for his friend, for both of his friends; Danneel was a sweetheart. Jealousy was not on the menu for people like Misha but right now he was having a bit of a hard time remembering that. Maybe he just wasn’t used to his kisses not being acknowledged at all.  _ C’mon, it couldn't have been that bad! _

“You think?” The eagerness in Jensen’s voice made Misha ashamed of the selfish tangent of his mind.  _ What would Vicki say? _ Picturing his wife’s meaningful smirk, he pushed the unpleasant thoughts away. His friend was looking for his approval and support and that was important.  _ So be a friend, Collins! _ He scolded himself.

“Positive,” he said and Jensen’s face softened in delight - it was impossible not to stare at him. 

“Look here,” Jensen took the ring back, stroking gently the delicate ornaments just below the small gemstone. “These are made to mirror the pattern of this one that I own,” he turned the ring on his middle finger. It was more solid and manly but together both of them looked like the perfect pair, complementing and enhancing the other.

“This is a huge step, man,” Misha’s grin got wider. The bubble of affection in his chest was threatening to turn him into a sappy mess. “Dani is a hell of a woman, you’re both very lucky.” 

The sun was just rising from the horizon, painting the sky in pink and golden colors. Sitting by the window, Jensen’s profile was rimmed by the light. He looked like a renaissance painting. Misha longed to reach and touch him, but didn’t do it. Nobody needed another story about a pushy queer friend overstepping boundaries. So he compromised and pulled out his phone and snapped a quick picture of the scene.

“What if she says no?” Jensen frowned, suddenly tense with worry.

“Look,” Misha started, resting a reassuring hand on Jensen’s shoulder, “I know you’re nervous. I remember what a disaster I was before proposing to Vicki,” he smiled at the memory. “That is you against the sunrise,” he shoved his phone in Jensen’s hand. Things were about to take a turn for the grossly sentimental but Misha decided he wouldn’t stop himself this time. “The sun is rising on you and Danneel, you’re gonna have many, many happy years ahead of you. You will have many wonderful kids with an unfair genetic advantage who are gonna start a new human race of the breathtakingly beautiful and endearingly weird. That race will dominate the rest of us.” 

“Oh, man,” Jensen was chuckling silently in order to not disturb the rest of the sleeping bunch. Misha rested his head on the back of the seat, his entire body angled towards Jensen. Jesus, that man was a work of art and Misha felt lucky to be his friend. Jensen inhaled deeply, mirrorring Misha’s pose, his face a little red from the effort to keep quiet. Their eyes met and there it was, the unspoken magic that made Misha believe there was more to this than just cordial friendship. Those eyes were staring into his soul and he was beyond tired of fighting it.

“Mish…” His voice was small, almost intimate and it made Misha weak all over. He felt hesitant fingers on his hand and after a brief moment where hearts were forbidden to beat, Jensen’s firm palm enveloped his. 

_ This is enough _ , Misha told himself,  _ this right here is perfect. _ It was almost convincing. Then something warm and metal slipped into his finger, his eyes widening when he saw Jensen’s ring on it. He raised his eyebrows in question only to receive: “I want you to have it. It looks good on you.”  _ Who knew grown men could blush like that? _ Now Jensen’s eyes were roaming everywhere but Misha’s face, however, his fingers never stopped stroking Misha’s hand.

“Jen, I can’t take it,” it was an incredibly feeble attempt at an argument. His mouth was dry, as he thought of the previous evening.

“Please,” Jensen said, “It’s a small sign,” he paused, taking a deep breath, “of friendship.” And he let go of Misha’s hand.

_ Yeah, okay, that would be fine. _ Misha’s head was spinning.

\-------------------------

**A month later**

“Why do we have to do this?” Misha was growing impatient. This was not what he imagined they had called him for.

“It’s just a small correction. It’s not a big deal,” Robert Singer sighed, sitting in his fancy office chair behind his fancy producer desk.

“Exactly,” he pointed, “if it’s not a big deal why are we doing it?”

“Because the network said so,” there was annoyance creeping in Bob’s voice.

Maybe, just maybe Misha was overstepping his actor boundaries. He had grown to love this character but this was more of an issue on principle. “They want us to tone it down?”

“Yes,” Bob nodded, “they think it’s getting too gay.”

“We are not aiming for gay?” Misha brought out all the sarcasm that he got. The last script - the one for episode 3- especially seemed to have pretty clear romantic undertones for Dean and Castiel. This one - for the future alternative universe - too.

“No, we are actually not aiming for  _ gay _ ,” Singer parroted his words back to him, exphasizing each one. “That is why we can’t have Cas saying he loves past-Dean.”

“It worked so well when we shot it,” Misha said, musing. “The  _ ‘I like you’ _ line just doesn’t have the same punch.”

“Yes, but the execs called and said we cannot have our main character have a male love interest,” Bob concluded dryly.  _ It really wasn’t a big deal for him, was it? _

“So that was the issue? They already did so much changes on that one. They already cut the line about Cas and Dean only having each other. Yet they did let slip the Thelma and Louise analogy last time, as well as the  _ ‘Don’t ever change’ _ scene. What do they want? Can they make up their minds!?”  _ Profit _ , Misha though, _ they want to play safe and still profit from every last drop of sexual tension we’ve got _ . He was getting bitter, which was not good for anyone. _ Personal life and personal opinions should remain personal, away from work _ .

“Listen, Misha” Bob returned to his ‘ _ reassure-the-artist _ ’ tone, “we all know you and Jensen have something going on,” a chill went down Misha’s spine, “and it served us well on camera, ratings go through the roof when you two are together on screen. When Ben (Edlund ) wrote  _ ‘I love past you’ _ he had that in mind, but we do not have full control. So in order to keep going we have to oblige. So please, get in this ADR booth and do the voice-over.”

Being talked to like a child was the last chance before you got the boot in this industry. Misha knew that, everybody knew that. Bob was on his last nerve. Really, maybe Misha was getting riled up for nothing. Probably Bob was right and it was a small insignificant change and Misha was just getting in his own feelings and expectations mixed up with it.

“All right,” he said. “Is there anything going into my second season that you can tell me about this character, directions you’d like to see me go in?” That was his pathetic attempt to stabilize the situation.

Bob cast him a dumbfounded look that in mere seconds flickered into utter disgust “You’re not gonna be one of  _ those  _ actors, are you?” There was a long pause filled with what was obviously and unfortunately growing to be mutual disdain. Misha turned to leave Bob’s office when he heard behind him “Oh, and Misha,” Bob’s voice as calm as a it can be “next time you decide to meddle in this, there may not be anyone, not me, not Jensen, who can save Castiel from an ugly and permanent death.”

\--------------------

It was an hour later, after the job was done, when Misha strode into Jensen’s trailer fully intending on flopping on the couch and getting blackout drunk. Thank God, this was his last day on set for a while. Tomorrow he’d get back to Vicki, curled up in bed with a hot mug of herbal tea listening to those fun college professor stories of hers (he still didn’t get how she could hide her rebel, borderline hippy persona in order to play an authority figure for those kids). Tonight was meant to be spent drinking beer to cleanse himself from the entire unpleasant afternoon experience and - if he was lucky - enjoying one of Jensen’s outbursts of physical affection. Those were happening more and more often lately - careless hair stroking, little backrubs or just tucking his feet under Misha’s thighs while watching TV. They still hadn’t talked about  _ the _ kiss but it seemed to have stripped the final layer of pretence that their relationship was just some regular normal guy stuff.

So inevitably there was a slight sting of disappointment when upon entering Jensen’s trailer, Misha found Jared, Rich and Cliff hanging around, perched on bar stools, loudly trading jokes.

“Dude!” Jared boomed from his seat, laughing hysterically “Did ya hear? Jensen’s gettin’ hitched!”

“I’ve been told,” Misha deadpanned, “several hundred times in the last month.” Jensen’s engagement celebration had become a recurring excuse whenever somebody around set needed a beer or a mindless party time in the middle of the day. It was not surprising that Jared was the one that had initiated and participated most enthusiastically in the trend.

“Yep, Danneel had him good.” Rich downed his bottle and grinned. 

“OH!” Jared shouted again and Misha found himself resenting the sound of a loose moose in the afternoon. “Here he is!”

With a bright smile, Jensen put the next six-pack of beers on the counter. Misha could swear his eyes gleamed when he spotted him. Their sasquatch of a friend tumbled down from his seat, stumbling a little (the alcohol probably had gone to his head) and draped himself over Jensen, ruffling his hair. “Congratulations, Jackles!”

“Yeah, yeah.” Misha enjoyed the low warm tone of that response, it was grounding. “Isn’t that bit getting a little old, guys? I think every person in this part of Canada and the entire state of Washington has had a drink for my engagement already.”

“We’re just so happy for you,” Jared mumbled, voice almost teary, face buried in Jensen’s neck, which was making him hunch a little. Maybe Misha had underestimated how many drinks the guys had while he was recording.

“Also you blush every time,” Cliff rumbled, with a smirk, taking a new beer, “it’s both cute and embarrassing.”

“Just like when you stare at-” Rich cut himself off right when his gaze set on Misha. The joke was cheap but was still preferable than Rich’s little frown that predicted a less than fun conversation. “Hey, Misha, why the long face, dude?”

“I...um...had a thing.” Yes, he had come here with intention to complain about the problem and all but he had expected a kind of private one-on-one conversation, not a group therapy session.

“Is it the voice over?” Jensen immediately switched his demeanor to serious, turning to face Misha and pushing Jared away. The guys traded surprised looks and raised eyebrows but the time was not right about giving a damn about it. Cliff snorted,  _ the bastard _ . He saw the actors in his care like children and himself like the nanny responsible for keeping them alive and out of big messes.

“Yeah,” Misha responded, ignoring the increasingly annoying reactions.

“Was Bob willing to help?” Jensen’s hand pressed on Misha’s lower back and gave him a gentle shove towards an empty barstool.

“Not really, the network seems to think this Dean and Cas thing is getting too obvious.” Sitting down, eyes on him, really made him feel like part of a therapy session.

“The gay seeps away,” Jared smirked, taking a long pull of his beer and earning himself a deadly glare from Jensen.

“Also he kind of implied,” Misha’s mouth was betraying him ,“I would be getting fired for meddling next time around.” He really didn’t mean to blurt that out, not with everyone standing around. The issue was really grinding his gears, and Jensen’s persistent hand on his back was steadily melting away his composure.

“What?” Anger took over Jensen’s voice as he stiffened in what Misha referred to as his ‘intimidating posture’.  _ What a stand-off! _ Yet it was kind of hot too. “He what?”

“Guys,” Misha heard Rich saying quietly, not aimed at anybody in particular.

“I’ll go talk to him, this is unacceptable,” Jesen was raving, pacing around. “Threats? Threatening one of the main stars? For daring to speak up?” 

_ Jesus, he is going to do something stupid. _ “Jen, don’t you dare.” 

“Guys,” Rich repeated, “I think we need to go.” From the corner of his eye Misha saw him elbowing Jared and Cliff. At least the bodyguard looked ready to skadaddle, but Jared was about to pull out the popcorn and enjoy the show.

“That’s not how this is gonna work. Oh, no way,” at this point he doubted Jensen was hearing anything from around him. “I am going to do something. Call the network maybe.” 

“You’re doing no such thing,” Misha insisted. Maybe Jensen's reaction was supposed to make him feel better, but it was only making his mood even worse. Before he could think better, it just slipped out. “They already seem to think I am getting advantages because I’m sleeping with one of the leads of the show.” Jensen froze. The silence fell abruptly. Rich was pulling Jared and Cliff towards the door but the three of them suddenly stopped, staring. “Which I am not,” Misha clarified, like this was some debatable situation.

The seconds dragged as Jared faux cheerfully waved “Goodbye!” and Misha and Jensen remained alone in the trailer.

“This is 2001 all over again,” Jensen said in a low resigned voice and thumped on a stool next to him. 

“What happened then?” Misha prompted, but the green eyes kept staring insistently at the wall behind him. Then it dawned on him. “Somebody did that to you, didn’t they?”

“I had those photo sessions and I acted in a movie named Blonde. I played- doesn’t matter,” he interrupted his thought abruptly. “After that, they - the agents, the execs, everyone - they told me I could be the gay twink whose star would burn out in a year or I could have a real career.” His face was totally expressionless and that made Misha’s heart hurt. This business could be an ugly place.  _ The world _ could be an ugly place.

“I’m sorry,” Misha all but whispered, squeezing Jensen’s wrist in a reassuring gesture. So many pieces were falling into place now.

“Funny thing is, I ain’t even gay. I just really hit it off with that guy.” The memory was clearly unpleasant but as his eyes drifted to the place where Misha was stroking his wrist Jensen softened a little.

“Is that why… um… that thing with me…” Misha really couldn’t get the right words. _ How do you say to someone that you want them but you also want your marriage to thrive and maybe involve them in a niche lifestyle with an uncertain future and unforeseeable complications? _ Jensen just looked at him with sad eyes.

“There is no manly way to drink from a straw,” he said quietly and Misha suspected there was more depth to these words than the obvious, “but I still want to.”

Being out and free to experiment was not something everyone had. That was really something Misha would like to change in the world. His heart was breaking and he wanted nothing more than to just kiss Jensen’s trauma away. “You should really talk to Dani.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refrenced the [first Cockles ring](https://fire-of-fire.tumblr.com/post/75050293287/the-ring-timeline)  
> in this chapter in case you're not familiar. 
> 
> This [tin hatty Tumblr post](https://hellgracer.tumblr.com/post/636657650928599040/sinnabonka-occamshipper)  
> is what the Bob and Misha scene refers to. I liked the idea, even though I'm not sure it's true. Also [this interview](https://seffersonjtarship.tumblr.com/post/640673214504239104/bubblemish-and-i-said-bobis-there-anything-you%22)  
> And as always thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) couldn't have done it without you.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking it to the next level

The first thought in Jensen’s head when he got home that early November evening was about calling the police. On first sight it was clear somebody had broken into his Vancouver apartment. The front door was unlocked. The entrance hall could only be described as a disaster - a mess of shoes, jackets and shopping bags, some of them empty others not. There was a faint bluish smoke in the air, unidentifiable, along with the unmistakable stench of burning plastic. A loud thud came from the kitchen _._

_ Probably an obsessed fangirl _ , he thought with horror. It was only a matter of time before some of them found out his address and there was certainly one crazy enough to - …  _ Oh _ . As he entered the kitchen where the bluish smoke was thicker he saw two figures hunched over the stove, squawking loudly over something burning. Misha and Danneel, yes, that made sense too.

“Did you get it out? Did you get it out?” Dani shrieked, a bit of panic in her voice.

“Yeah, I think so,” Misha patted the towel they had thrown over a blue puddle on the stove with a big wooden spoon. After a tense second of observing the crime scene, they chuckled nervously, Dani leaning heavily on Misha’s shoulder.

“Hem hem,” Jensen cleared his throat to make himself known. “Would you two care to explain this?”

Both his friend and his fiancee jerked up, turning towards him, in a surprisingly similar manner. Danneel had a few locks of hair escaping her ponytail, framing her features, a splotch of something dark on her left cheek and an apologetic smile on her face. “Surprise, honey,” she said innocently. She was most definitely trying to charm her way out of this, judging by the way she was batting her lashes. She was successful. Jensen hadn’t seen her in a month, maybe, and the joy of her being here overwhelmed him.

“Hey, Dee,” Jensen smiled back, stepping towards her and taking her in his arms and squeezed her tight.

“You have the  _ bestest  _ girlfriend, Jackles,” he heard Misha’s gravelly voice. “She flew all the way here from L.A. just to make you dinner.”

“What actually happened here?” Jensen nodded towards the counters and the stove and the sink… Apparently every single dish he owned needed washing now, preferably with holy water.

“I wanted to cook something for you,” Dani started, ignoring his eyebrows raised in suspicion. “Misha suggested a traditional African chicken peanut stew-”

“Which should taste fantastic by the way,” Misha interrupted. Until now Jensen hadn’t noticed how dissolute Misha looked with his hair all disheveled, his T-shirt two sizes too large hanging loose, accidentally revealing a clavicle. Absolutely debauched.

“It was all going fine,” Dani tilted her head up to look at Jensen, still pressed to him. The curve of her face was so delicate, her pouty lips so cute…  _ Jesus fucking Christ, this situation was confusing in all the wrong ways _ . “Then… well, remember your pan lid with the blue plastic handle? Why do you have a plastic handled lid by the way?” She was rambling. Jensen probably should be at least a little mad but having her here with all her silly mannerisms and unusual for a hot chick dorkiness, was making his heart warm.

“Long story short,” Misha interfered on behalf on coherency, “That lid no longer has a handle.”

“Misha left it on the hot stove and it melted,” Dani announced with a childish expression.

“Excuse me?! Don’t pin that on me, dear!”

“Technically you put it there.”

“Technically you forgot to turn off the stove!” Misha was gesturing frantically, eyes wide.

“Kids, please, stop,” Jensen shook his head.

“All in all,” Dani concluded smugly, “I did make you dinner.”

“What she means is,” Misha stepped closer, hands on his hips, leaning challenging towards both Jensen and Dani, “ _ We _ did make you dinner. She helped a little.”

“Hey!” she smacked his shoulder, frowning. 

“I sense a long night ahead,” Jensen groaned and headed to slump on the couch.

An hour or so later, after carefully ventilating the entire apartment in order to get rid of the undoubtedly toxic fumes, they sat around the coffee table that served as a dinner table. The stew proved to be way more delicious than Jensen had expected, given Misha’s weird taste in food and Dani’s natural way of screwing up recipes. He leaned back, full and content, contemplating unbuttoning his jeans since the third serving had made them uncomfortably tight around the waist. Dani and Misha were giggling at something, their heads close together, poking with their forks at something on Misha’s plate. Jensen had never imagined these two would get along so well. That was great as far as he was concerned. Nothing weird. No uninvited thoughts whatsoever.

“What are you two doing?” he asked.

“Building a rice fort,” Dannel answered with pride, gesturing towards the creation. Unsurprisingly it looked like a pile of brown rice in a puddle of sauce.

“Y’all are ridiculous,” he huffed.

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a fort,” Misha pointed his fork at him. Jensen only snorted a laugh in return.

The stereo blasted the first notes of Tom Jones’  _ Delilah _ . Obviously, Jensen wasn’t in charge of the music that night but the wine that complemented the dinner so nicely was making him mellow so he decided he’d allow it for now.

“Oh, I love that song,” Dani chirped, swaying her head to the rhythm. “C’mon, Mish, let’s dance.”  _ She called him ‘Mish’, _ a persistent voice in the back of Jensen’s head noticed.

“I’d love to, Dee, but I’m afraid I’d certainly lose a physical confrontation with your jealous boyfriend over there,” Misha reached over to smack Jensen’s knee.

“Usually you’d be right, but now I’m smashed,” he grinned lazily, “Feel free to take over my dancing duties for now.”

Danneel let a small piercing noise of joy and pulled Misha to his feet, gripping both of his hands. Their dance was ridiculous, all theatrical and messy, a lot of laughter and uncoordinated turns while Tom Jones sang about the murder of Delilah in a fit of jealous rage. 

‘ **_I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more._ ** _ ’  _

_ Horrifying, _ Jensen thought.

Good thing his brain was sedated right now and not thinking very straight. He watched one of Misha’s hands slide on Dani’s back, as he bent her backwards, the other lifting her knee to complete the figure, and as he nuzzled her neck, she laughed. Jealousy or at least strong annoyance would be the usual emotion of choice for Jensen. But not today. He could get jealous even with his friends sometimes, a couple of occasions of Misha getting comfortable with some of the other cast members had left an acidy feeling in Jensen’s stomach. As the chorus reached its crescendo, Misha gripped Dani and spinned her around, her arms tight around his neck, her feet lifted an inch or so off the ground. They both landed in a pile of limbs and giggles on the couch next to Jensen.

“Glad you two are having fun,” he scoffed, suddenly hyper aware of Dani’s quiet moan and Misha’s breath near his thigh as the pair struggled to sit upright. The next song turned out to be _ Du hast. _

“Rammstein after Tom Jones?” Jensen raised his eyebrows, “Who made this disaster of a playlist?”

“Shut up, grumpy,” Dani scolded without malice, smacking his knee.

“Who doesn’t like a bit of good old hard-” Misha paused, inhaling deeply, his gaze flicking between Jensen and Dani, “rock.”

“Technically that’s industrial metal,” Jensen corrected, ignoring the sudden rise in the room temperature as Dani’s hand slid up his leg.

“I’m a fan of hard things,” she gave him a sultry look, eyes half closed. Oh, Jensen knew that game. Usually it was played later in the evening, without company. Her lips begged to be kissed. Oh, Jensen liked that game.

“Do you know what they sing about?” Misha asked. The trivial question should probably break the moment but the hushed tone and Misha leaning close did just the opposite.

“Hm?” Dani prompted.

“It’s a wedding. They asked  _ ‘Do you want until death do you part to be faithful only to her?’ _ .” Misha’s voice got a raw scratchy texture and Dani seemed mesmerized by it. _ She’s not used to it, _ went through Jensen’s head yet he gulped hard even though he was hearing it for a thousandth time.

“You know German?” he asked in an attempt to bring down the tension that was becoming palpable.

“He screams ‘No!’” Misha looked straight into his eyes and whatever Jensen meant to blurt out was caught in his throat. 

His heartbeat quickened. Dani squeezed his upper thigh, as she turned his eyes to him as well. Two pairs of eyes fixated on him led to one thing - perspiration.  _ What a beautiful time to sweat! _

“Smart man,” she said low. Jensen barely had time to close his eyes when her lips found his but his hand instinctively flew to her waist. He knew where this was heading. He wanted this yet was very careful not to put his desires into words even to himself.

“Indeed,” Jensen heard Misha’s voice and in the haze saw Dani turn her head to plant a little chaste kiss on his lips as well.

“Wow,” he tried to protest but was gently shushed by Danneel. “Guys…”

“You remember that time with my friend Liz?” she whispered, nuzzling Jensen’s neck, her other hand caressing Misha’s cheek. It was getting increasingly hard to breath or to focus on anything. Misha, bless his heart, remained still, expecting permission from the couple, but Jensen had seen that look on his face as well. “It was a good night, wasn’t it?” Dani did have a strong case here.

He gave a small nod. Looking at Misha mouthing on Dani’s shoulder, Jensen kissed her properly pulling the hottest sigh in history from her. He slid his hand down to her knee just to feel another one already there. Misha’s thumb timidly brushed his knuckles.  _ Let this happen, let this happen, let this happen, _ chanted the voice in the back of his head as he watched Danneel giving their friend a deep kiss.

Jensen closed his eyes, hard-set on calming his nerves and enjoying whatever was happening without needing excuses. He felt lips, he felt skin, he felt Danneel’s manicured nails tracing his scalp, his neck, his arms… At one moment he was tugging gently on a messy ponytail , and at the other - on shorter coarser locks. At one moment, there was a small warm hand gripping his biceps, at the other - a larger stronger one. He let it remain there. 

They moved together, caressing, tasting under the notes of a jazz song by Norah Jones that was playing now. After trying to lick Dani’s earlobe and feeling her pull away Jensen decided to take a peek. Their faces, of all three of them, were terribly close and he could barely make up features. Dani sank back in the cushions a little more and a pair of blue eyes bore into his unblinkingly. Shivers ran down his spine. A soft hand gave him the little push needed and just like that he was kissing Misha. Clumsily. Passionately. Desperately. He heard a smug chuckle as the slender female body snaked its way out of the puzzle, causing him to almost collapse on top of Misha. Jensen looked at her, then at Misha who was panting but still following his lead, and back at Danneel, perched at the edge of the table.

“Please, continue,” she said hoarsely. Her lips were smiling, but her eyes were saying  _ ‘I’m gonna eat you both up. _ ’ Jensen had never been more aroused.

“Jen,” Misha rumbled in his ear, an unspoken question in his voice. Jensen turned his attention back to his friend, taking in the blue of his eyes, the curve of his lips, the sharpness of his jaw. It took him a second but he pinned Mish down.

Misha’s kiss was harsher than Dani’s, his mouth hungrier, his arms stronger. It felt good, so good Jensen wanted it to last as long as possible. Taming his pace, he pulled away to take another look, just to be sure this was all real.  _ How on God’s green Earth does one have such a smile - innocent and mischievous, wrinkling his nose and eyes?  _ For a moment Jensen thought it was just joking around, a normal everyday situation among close friends. That took some of the pressure off his nervous mind.

“Hi there,” Misha uttered so quietly Dani who was less than a couple of feet away probably couldn’t hear it.

“Hey,” Jensen replied with a grin. As unnecessary as this exchange was, it was surrealistically grounding. This was okay. This was still his friend and his girlfriend was around, giving her blessing. Absolutely no need to panic.

This time it was Misha who grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him down. Jensen nibbled on his lower lip, causing a low groan and slight buckling of hips underneath him. The friction was just enough to send his senses to overdrive. For many many years Jensen hadn’t felt another man’s cock harden next to his. When he started rocking against Misha more on instinct than anything, the strongest thighs he ever felt wrapped around his waist. The sounds that filled the room were downright obscene and Jensen wasn’t sure who was more responsible for that. In the background he heard a distinctly satisfied moan coming from Danneel, it only increased Jensen’s enthusiasm.

Jensen felt his shirt being ripped open and palms roaming his back. His own hands slid under Misha’s worn tee-shirt, finding a more muscled chest than he had expected. They became more and more frantic in exploring their bodies, still moving in tandem against each other. Of all the things he wanted to say the only one he could actually muster was a weak “Mish…” whispered against his shoulder.

He did know he wouldn’t be able to keep up much longer but when Misha grabbed his butt to pull him even closer and moaned “Jesus, Jensen, so good,” he just spilled in his pants biting hard on Misha’s neck. More surprising was that this made Misha come with a cry, tightening all his limbs around him. 

Jensen found himself collapsed on top of Misha, panting, throat dry. Obviously he had been more vocal than he had thought. Realizing how absurd they looked - tangled together, still clothed, sticky mess in their pants - they both laughed with the familiar ease without otherwise moving.

“That’s it?” Dani sounded irritated, “I spend almost a year getting you two together and you end up coming from dry humping for a bit? Are you 15 year-olds?”

Jensen and Misha only laughed harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as always thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) couldn't have done it without you.


	15. Chapter 15

The Christmas hiatus was harder this year. When you were just discovering a new cuddle buddy at work, time apart was just extra difficult. He and Jensen texted almost every day, but not much else. Catching up with family and friends along with other not Supernatural related projects prevented every attempt at visiting. Overall, they talked less now than they did during the summer. 

With every day closer to his return to set, Misha was getting more anxious. Sure, Jensen had his beautiful  fiancée  to take care of, and a huge warm southern family to reconnect with. He was also to be Jared’s best man in January when Gen would finally say ‘yes’ to the Padalecki lovable monster. The guy was busy. But not even skiing with Darius could take Misha’s mind off of him.  _ What if he changed his mind? What if he did the thinking and decided this ‘friends with benefits’ shit was too weird for him? _ Misha’s heart ached as his breathing quickened.  _ Also who’d like these ever growing under eye bags and deepening wrinkles? And that mousey hair? _ He slapped more hair dye on his left temple and rubbed intensely.

“Babe, are you freaking out?” Vicki wrapped her arms around his middle and wrinkled her nose at the chemical dye stench. 

“I am dyeing my hair, honey.” He was going for a deadpan but it fell flat.

“Yes, I can see that,” ” she patted his tummy.  _ Had he gained weight during the holidays? _ Misha gave her a glare in the mirror. “Anyways, why don’t you let your fancy TV hair stylist do that for you?”

“I don’t want to show up on set with half black, half rat fur color on my head.”

“Oh, this is about your boy, isn’t it?” Vicki was never a winker but the current attempt was embarrassing. Annoyance and fondness both stirred in Misha’s chest. _ Isn’t that what spouses are about? _

“Please don’t call him that.”

“Oh, you don’t even try to play dumb with a ‘who are you talking about?’ So, that bad, huh?” 

“Victoria, is there something you need?” It came out harsher than intended. He peeled off the dirty gloves and cursed a stray lock of dye smeared hair falling on his forehead.

“Can’t I say a proper goodbye to my husband who is flying to be with his boyfriend tomorrow?” Vicki smirked and her hands squeezed his sides to turn him around.

“I’m sorry,” Misha let out a deep breath and bowed his head. “It’s not just about Jensen. It’s also the producers and execs… I told you what Singer said, right? With the new contract and all… I’m tense.”

“Well, I don’t know about all that other stuff,” Vicki said, as he was toying with the hem of her tank top. “But you don’t need to worry about Jensen.” He gave her a look under furrowed brows. “If Danneel is a reliable source, and I can assure you she is, he’s equally impatient to see you.”

“What?!” 

Vicki brushed the sticky lock out of his forehead. “You’re both idiots who didn’t want to  _ bother  _ the other,” she made a face, accentuating the word  _ bother _ , and Misha rolled his eyes at her.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked after a small pause.

“No,” Vicki’s reply was firm but her gaze was soft, “I think you need to go up there and snuggle your buddy in a manly fashion. I know I’ve tired you out these last few weeks.” she tried another wink and they both ended up giggling. “C’mon now, wash up” she slapped his ass, “I still have you for 12 hours before your flight.”

\---------------------------

Misha went straight to the set from the airport, luggage and all in his rental car trunk. He drove himself since CW didn’t bother sending a driver to pick him up and Cliff was busy. He had sent Misha a quick ‘Sorry’ text that Misha appreciated. It was January and Vancouver was freezing but Misha found himself hating it less than he did last year.  _ Jesus _ , it was 28th January already? He hadn’t seen Jensen in more than a month. The shooting for the new year had started a few weeks ago but Cas wasn’t needed in those episodes so Misha used that time to go to a winter meditation retreat with Vicki which moderately relieved his anxiety and anticipation. He technically wasn’t needed yet, they were filming episode 17 of the season but Misha decided to get there a couple of days early in order to “rehearse and get into work mode”. Vicki mocked him only a little bit for these excuses.

So here he was, getting past the barrier of the set, parking the damn rental car full of suitcases and bags, heart beating like a giant Chinese drum. He could try denying but it would be useless. Vicki had overhyped him with Danneel’s words. So here he was, straight from the airport, in his hoodie and messy hair, stolling between the trailers, stomach cramping. There was the occasional “Hi, Misha” but mostly people ignored him, minding their own business.

Next to the makeup trailer he heard a loud chirpy “Heeeey” coming from one of the hair girls, Claire. Claire was in charge of ruffling Castiel’s hair appropriately and they had chatted quite a bit in the last months. “How’s it going, Misha?” The smile on her face looked genuine. “You’re not shooting today, right?”

“How do you know?” he clutched the locks on the top of his head, almost pure black now.

“I have not touched this.” She gestured towards his hair in slight distaste. “It’s messy but in the wrong ways, like a cow licked you, right here,” she poked his left temple with a slender finger.

Misha gave her a small laugh before asking the only question that mattered , “Hey, do you know where Jensen is?”

“Oooh,” Misha tried not to blush, “Sorry, big guy, they are shooting on location today. Somewhere in the suburbs, around an hour away from here.”

People on set weren’t stupid they knew something was up but everybody was gracious enough not to comment on it but they tended to give them space and a hard time about it whenever possible. The only incident had been when Jared had pulled them aside after they had come out of Jensen’s trailer particularly giddy in dire need of a costume fix.

“Dude, whatever the fuck you do, I only hope Danneel knows because otherwise I will need to break your nose.” Jared pointed a finger at Jensen. With his wedding approaching and Gen being a bridezilla he had become overly sensible.

“Yes, of course, she’s on board with all of it,” Jensen had reassured him only to have Jared stare at him in a mixture of envy and bewilderment.

One Led Zeppelin album later (when  _ that  _ had crept into Misha’s ipod playlist, he could not remember) he arrived at the location. The trees were bare, kind of depressing, but everything around was buzzing with the frenzy that was every Kripke episode. It would be nicer if there was sun instead of gray sky and foliage and bushes he could drag Jensen behind for a quick ‘I missed you’ kiss but there were way too many people for that anyway. Also they were not teenagers, he reminded himself. Helas, his heart was racing and his stomach had dropped to his feet. 

A camera crew guy spotted Misha’s stupid grin and shook his head sympathetically, “He’s in there,” pointing to the unremarkable house.

Misha nodded a thanks and climbed up the stairs, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets. Just when he was about to scold himself about how foolishly adolescent he was acting he saw him. Jensen was right there, in a dark corner behind a huge light reflector, going over his lines. 

“Hi,” Misha said, remaining a few steps away. Jensen's entire face glowed with a smile. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Fancy meeting you”. Damn, that smile. Jensen strode closer, clasping Misha’s shoulder tight and pushing him towards the door “C’mon, let’s go outside. How you’ve been, man?” It was all simple and easy and Misha’s entire body was vibrating with the giddy electricity of seeing Jensen again. In the back of his mind the question of ‘Should we ignore our pre-Christmas fooling around?’ was lingering, unwanted. Before the spiral could go deeper Jensen all but ducked under his arm to position it around his shoulders and wrapped his own around Misha in the same fashion. Doubt was not an option when their bodies were pressed together, standing on the porch as crew members passed by, pointedly not looking. 

“Missed you,” Jensen said in his ear, his voice sending shivers down Misha’s spine.

“Me too, that’s why I came early,” Misha replied. Jensen clutched Misha’s hand that was over his shoulder. The folded script was still there.

“Glad you did, man,” he was speaking in such a Dean manner, getting out of his character’s head space didn’t come easy to Jensen. “We should- should totally have a beer tonight. We have probably two more hours here if Padalecki quits dicking around. Then you can come to my trailer or something.” 

The tight ball of nerves in Misha’s belly was slowly uncurling. “Or maybe you could come to mine,” he whispered, turning his face completely towards Jensen, breathing his scent, lips brushing against his ear. “According to my new contract as a regular I am supposed to have this huge space, just like yours.” 

“Let me show you something.” In a totally-friends-dude-bro way they climbed down the stairs, heading towards the Impala. Jensen’s hand was sliding down Misha’s back to rest on his waist as he opened the car’s back door. “See, we’ve got a third Baby. This one’s just for me.” He grinned foolishly and Misha never wanted to kiss him more. Maybe he had just forgotten. Every first kiss after some time apart was like the first one ever and it overshadowed all past kisses in Misha’s mind.

“You’re ridiculous, Jackles,” Misha said with as much fondness in his voice as he could muster at the moment.

Jensen was smiling at him and maybe he could summon the courage to give him a peck in public when they heard “Misha!” Jared boomed and gathered both Jensen and him into a bear hug “How’s your wife? And Vicki too?” Jensen shot him a dirty look but to no avail.

Two more hours turned out to be a generous underestimation. It was dark when Jensen finally got to get into his trailer. By the time the rest of the cast was heading for beers in Jared’s apartment, Misha was straddling Jensen's lap on the couch, grinding slowly and trading lazy kisses. They were not some frantic teenagers. They were both grown ass men in their 30s and they could take it slow if they wanted to! Mostly because they had already gone for round one, but don’t mention that.

Jensen’s shoulders were broad and comfy to lean against. Before they got this -uh... bonus to their friendship, Misha had almost forgotten how much he loved a strong male body against his own. He could certainly enjoy multiple power dynamics but after Vicki’s vigorous sexual appetite recently, he was really getting into being manhandled and cared for like this. Jensen seemed to be more comfortable with the more active role for now too, despite Misha’s clear intentions to change that in the near future.

“So what was that shoebox?” Jensen stroked his thighs, fingers sliding under the legs of his boxer briefs. Yes, the couch they were on was the fancy leather thing in Jensen’s trailer since they quickly agreed that guest stars would be hearing every grunt and movement if they stayed in what passed for MIsha’s space.

“I don’t know, the contract was pretty clear on the subject.” It felt weird talking about such mundane shit while not being able to put more than an inch of distance between each other. None of them were complaining though. “But when I got here all I got is the same one third of a guest trailer.” Misha wrapped his hand loosely around Jensen’s cock, enjoying how hard he had to try to focus after that.

“Aah-,” Jensen groaned pitifully, “Must be some mistake.” 

“No, checked it with several people.”

“You should - ah fuck-,” Jensen caught Misha’s bottom lip between his own, muffling a groan, “should say something.”

“I don’t know if this is such a good idea…” Misha was practically purring, not stopping his ministrations. He knew what that voice was doing to Jensen and was doing it on purpose.  _ Payback is a bitch, for all the flirty stares during takes. Who had a hard time concentrating now? _

“Call Singer, call Kripke…,” Jensen panted with glorious effort to keep the conversation casual “They’d take your side…”

The laugh from Misha’s lips was small and bitter. “I think I am more of ‘do the job and get lost' kind of deal for them.”

“Mish,” Jensen pulled away to take a proper look at him for the first time in the last hour. Way to break the mood. “You’re important. You’re essential to this series.”

“Doesn’t seem that way.” Misha sighed in disappointment, falling off Jensen’s lap heavily onto the cushions. The feeling of his own dick shrinking before the expected climax, especially along with the souring mood, was disgusting. These were the things he was desperately trying to push away from his mind. Annoyance was radiating from him, affecting everything in its path. 

“Wait here,” Jensen said, patting his knee and heading to the kitchen. Probably a beer would help, just mellow out a bit of the frustration of the day. “Black or green?”

“What?” Misha asked absent mindedly, not bothering to move from his slumped position on the couch.

“Black tea or green tea? That’s all I have.” 

“Since when do you have tea? You hate tea.” 

“Since I have a friend coming over who refuses to admit coffee’s undeniable superiority.” 

Misha twisted on the couch, resting his chin on the backrest and staring at Jensen in awe. The man was grinning, a warm sparkle in his green eyes. If he had been at some other point earlier in life, a more romantic and impulsive point, Misha would rush to kiss him and stupidly whisper ‘ _ I love you _ ’. Right now he managed to get out “Green, it’s more soothing for the evening.”

Several minutes later the tea was done and Misha found himself cuddled at Jensen’s side, hot mug in hand, watching a car fixing show on the excessively large TV. The airconditioning was blasting warmth, getting his cheeks flushed. Or maybe it was Jensen’s impossibly tender fingers in his hair and the small kisses that he gave him on the top of his head every once in a while. Moving to go back to the apartment didn’t look like a great option at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as always thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) couldn't have done it without you.


	16. Chapter 16

“Here you go,” Jesnen clasped the plastic lid on the light switch. “All good and workin’,” he grinned, spinning the screwdriver in his hand.

“Amazing,” Vicki replied, almost no sarcasm in her voice which meant she was very appreciative. “I’ve literally lived in the dark for half a year.”

Danneel chuckled sitting on the nearby desk, painted in warm afternoon sunlight. It was their first visit at the Collins house and it coincided with Jensen’s birthday. Finally, the four of them had managed to coordinate their schedules and share a couple of long overdue days together, choosing Misha’s for the idea. The house was rather small, but cozy, very family friendly, like you’d expect a couple of energetic Collins kids running around. Misha had built a lot of the stuff himself. All of that filled Jensen with a new kind of warmth. So when he spotted a broken light switch in the living room it was only natural to fix it.

“It was easy actually, just 5 minutes of work” he tried to suppress a blush since Vicki was still making him nervous, not in a bad way, just in the ‘I’m the immensely intelligent and authoritative wife of your special friend’ way.

“You’re actually not helping my case, Jackles,” Misha said, bringing drinks for them all. He stood way too close to Jensen, by normal standards, and Jensen was acutely aware of Vicki’s gaze upon them.

“Maybe if I had a husband around, the homemade light switch, that no electrician would touch, wouldn’t have stayed broken for 6 months.” Despite the warmth in Vicki’s eyes and the amusement in her tone, Jensen still felt like this was some kind of exam.  _ How could Danneel be so calm, enjoying herself?  _

“Yes, blame the husband that works his ass off 9 months a year so we can buy a new house.” Misha deadpanned and his arm wormed its way around Jensen’s waist. Jensen looked around, tensing. No one seemed to react.

“Why would you move? This is so…homey, it has  _ you  _ written all over it,” he blurted out before he could stop himself, eyes softly exploring Misha’s profile.

“He’s nice, so nice,” Vicki declared, content, “we can keep him. Not only is he pretty but handy around the house too.”

Misha breathed out a laugh and tried to nuzzle Jensen’s neck but he twitched away at the attempt. He caught Misha’s gaze, desperately trying to telepathize  _ ‘Is this appropriate?’ _ into his friend’s mind.

“Oh, come on,” Vicki groaned, “kiss him already, I’m not going to bite.” Danni, damn her, giggled approvingly.  _ How much had these two been talking? _

“It’s ok,” Misha smiled at him, only at him, it was grounding, “you don’t have to listen to her.”

Jensen only smiled back and going on a whim he cupped the side of Misha’s face and planted one on him. Immediately there was wolf whistling and his heart kind of stopped. _ Danneel had the manners of a drunken sailor! _ Nevertheless none of them moved away, continuing to share sweet kisses that were mostly lips, some gentle nibbles. This was different from all other kisses Jensen had traded with men in the past. It wasn’t frantic, it wasn’t heated or demanding, it was weirdly domestic. He could get used to this, even with Vicki and Danneel cooing or wailing around. He held Misha’s face in both his hands, pressing their lips firmly in order to convey all the fondness that was expanding in his chest.

“See, kissing’s good,” Vicki concluded. Jensen could safely assume that was her college professor's voice. “It produces serotonin, oxytocin, reduces stress, lowers blood pressure. I even feel like I’m missing out. Come, Dani.” Before anyone could know she gave Danneel a wet smack on the mouth.

It was almost sunset when Jensen wandered in what seemed like a carpenter’s workshop but was in fact Misha’s garage. There was woodchip on the floor, countless instruments he had no idea what to do with and all kinds of furniture in different stages of progress. Currently Misha was sanding down the rings and ornaments of an oak colored… something. 

“What’s that?” He asked lamely.

“A table leg,” Misha didn’t lift his eyes from his work. 

“Man, I knew you build a lot of stuff but this is an entirely different level.” Jensen sat down beside him on the crude bench. The whole picture of Misha with a ratty T-shirt, safety goggles and straining arm muscles were giving him a distinct tingle in the belly.

“It’s a hobby now, it’s calming.” Here they were, those blue eyes, now slightly enlarged behind the glass of the goggles, piercing through him.

“You’re good at it,” Jensen could feel the fuzzy feeling taking over his head. It had been present ever since they got there but right now alone with Misha, in the real world, no cast, no crew around, no cameras and no screaming fangirls, it was overwhelming. He was getting to know Misha’s world, the way he was before Supernatural, and it was amazing. “Never noticed how big your hands are.”

“Liar,” Misha smirked mischievously. For a moment it seemed like he was going to go on a tangent but he apparently reconsidered. “Give me the drill, please.” 

Jensen spotted a box with a helpful label before having to embarrass himself with the question what a drill is exactly. Misha seemed to handle the thing masterfully. With a piercing noise and calm precision he drilled four holes at the top of the table leg to be.

“I see,” Jensen sneered, “very calming, like a lullaby.”

“Shut up,” Misha snorted and stood the leg up, “help me position it on the frame.” He gestured to a simple rectangle of wooden boards in the same color, leaning on the wall.

“How’s that a table?” Jensen felt a little stupid asking the qiestion. Come to think about it, the most construction he had done was assembling IKEA chairs back when he had first come to LA as an aspiring actor.

“You attach the legs to the frame, the tabletop comes on top, then you put decorations and varnish everything. Now move your pretty ass.”

Jensen closed his mouth that had fallen open at some point while he was staring at Misha moving intently. Assembling the frame and the legs wasn’t as difficult as he had assumed but it was accompanied with more drilling noises which made Jensen’s ears scream. Actually, Misha’s garage wasn’t that big and with all the crap around they had little space to handle the pieces. Brushing against Misha, smelling the mix of his sweat and wood, the unique aroma made Jensen wonder how long it would take the girls to make dinner and whether they would have time to mess around a little. 

“Tomorrow we can sand down and assemble the top.” 

“I see why you like this,” Jensen smiled, crouching on the floor, holding the pieces together while Misha tightened the last of the screws.

“Yeah, reminds me of a simpler time,” his friend slumped to the floor with a thud, “poorer, less secure, but simpler times.” His expression was dreamy, eyes gazing far away and a little sad.

“ _ And be a simple kind of man, _ _   
_ _ Oh be something you love and understand _ ”

In Jensen’s experience singing often did job when talking failed. The conversation reminded him of this song he loved and it felt so appropriate. He was keeping his voice quiet and soft hoping it could express everything he couldn’t put into words right now. Misha stared at him with those intense blue eyes Jensen could drown into.

_ “ _ _ Baby be a simple kind of man _ _   
_ _ Oh won't you do this for me son if you can” _

“You were singing that song when I first realised you were getting under my skin,” Misha almost whispered, tender smile on his lips. 

“Well…huh…,” Jensen felt the color rise in his cheeks and cast his gaze to the floor. His head was spinning because this didn’t feel like just lust anymore but he wouldn’t dare put any other name on it.

“Where are Vicki and Danneel?” Misha put a hand on his knee.

“I think Vicki is bravely attempting to teach Dani how to make sushi.” 

The silence stretched until Jensen managed to look at Misha’s face again. At that moment he could swear every little emotion was reciprocated.

“God, I want you,” Misha said hoarsely, pulling him for a kiss. Just with a few quick maneuvers Jensen found himself stradling Misha’s lap, knees far apart. This felt unexpected and vulnerable and really good. He had always known Misha wasn’t a sissy. He could be flamboyant and quirky but right now he was a force of nature, squeezing Jensen tight and ravishing his mouth. “Upstairs,” Misha purred against his throat, his voice so low Jensen’s skin vibrated.

Keeping a level head in the moment was next to impossible. Jensen swallowed a moan as Misha dragged his palms tentatively across his back underneath the shirt. “What if the girls are done?” he managed to say “I don't think I can handle sex and Vicki at the same time. She intimidates me.” That thought alone was enough to sober him up a little.

Misha chuckled a little, positioning Jensen’s thighs better around his waist. “She intimidates me too.” He had this boyish smitten look on him, it was almost painful to watch. “I think she’ll give us a pass this one time.” 

Jensen felt straining muscles underneath him, a strong grip around his legs and for a moment he thought Misha would lift him up and carry him to the bedroom. He might or might not have let out a gasp at that thought. “Sorry, sweetheart, I’d love to but my back will need 25 surgeons to fix it.” Small reminder they were not 20 anymore. 

As unpleasant as it was, they forced some space between them in order to disentangle, stand up, stumble through the door and up the stairs, and at the same time manage to not stop kissing and touching and exploring. Somewhere along the way Jensen bumped his hip into the handrail. It was crooked in bizarre shapes as it went up, small inconsistencies in its smooth finish. That was so undeniably Misha.

Finally they pushed past a door on the second floor. Before he could see anything else in the room Jensen got a good look at the ceiling. He was flat on his back on the bed with Misha working meticulously on undoing his pants. He still couldn't get used to the hunger with which Misha took his dick in his mouth, like he was trying to suck the soul out of him. And he was succeeding. Jensen groaned in relief, back arching and hands digging in dark hair. Just a minute later he felt a finger sliding on his perineum and pushing against his hole. Unconsciously he parted his legs further. Danneel had had her little experiments with him recently but nothing as intense as a cock rubbing against his entrance. He surprised even himself how quickly he warmed up to the idea, the entire strong Texan, red meat eating, sports car driving, manly man bravado forgotten somewhere far away.

As enthusiastic as he was Misha worked his fingers gently, never stopping the kisses and licks on Jensen’s thighs, on his belly, on his cock.

“You sure?” he asked after a while, forehead pressed against Jensen’s, hand still pumping slowly.

Jensen nodded silently. Eloquence wasn’t his forte in the best of times and right now it was out of question. He just closed his eyes in expectation and pressed his lips against Misha’s. God, he was nervous. 

The first push was rather uncomfortable, the pain made him grunt and squeeze Misha’s shoulder, eyes still closed.

“Do you want me to stop?” Misha mouthed at the corner of his jaw, trying to sound calm and in control but his ragged breathing was giving him away.

“No,” Jensen breathed, crossing his ankles at Misha’s lower back.

The thrusts were slow but deep and Jensen’s body was slowly accommodating. One of his hands found Misha’s and entwined their fingers. This was absurd. It was absurdly gentle and intense and - fuck, the friction of his cock against Misha’s skin provided just enough stimulation to tense the hot coil in his belly.

“Mish…” he whispered, voice barely recognizable.

Misha caught his eyes with dead seriousness. “You’re so beautiful,” he stroked Jensen’s cheek. 

“Mish…” This time around it was practically a moan and this obviously did the trick for Misha since he picked up the pace and buried his face in Jensen’s neck. The pleasure came in waves. This was not the first time they had sex but this was the first time Jensen had a realization. Actually this was the second time he had this realization in his life but this time around it was much scarier. First time was some years ago with Danneel. Now riding high on his orgasm and listening to Misha coming with a desperate moan against his skin, Jensen realized he was in love with this man.

That night they somehow managed to skip dinner and just drift away in Misha’s marital bed at the ungodly hour of 9 p.m. Come to think of it, Dani and Vicki probably just allowed it and decided,  _ eh fuck it, let’s eat by ourselves and not listen to Supernaural set stories _ . Jensen didn’t dare to ask if Vicki slept with Dani that evening in the guest room where he was supposed to be. He had caught both ladies giving each other looks throughout the day but couldn’t pin down if that meant anything beyond ‘look-at-our-men-going-at-it’. So when he came down for coffee the next morning, he simply sat down beside Dani on the couch distinctly  _ not _ blushing. 

“Did you have a good night?” she asked, raising her eyebrows. She didn’t seem mad though which was a huge relief. 

“Yeah… sorry about that,” Jensen muttered, dragging a hand down his face. Dani just smiled and scooted closer.

“You sore?” she whispered, that damn smirk twisting her lips got him jerking away, “at all?”

“Jesus, Danneel!”

“I know we’ve been… uhm,” she hesitated, “practicing…”

“Shut up, would ya?” Jensen cut her off, casting her a begging look.

“Now, now, Dani. Don’t embarrass him,” he heard Vicki’s voice as she was settling on an armchair with a coffee mug in hand. The scheduled opening of the ground to swallow Jensen up was late, so he hid his face in his hands.

“Just ignore them,” he felt a strong clasp on the shoulder and something warm tapping his bent head. Misha was giving him a hot cup of coffee in the dorkiest way possible. Jensen took the cup but still couldn’t bring himself to look at Misha. 

“Ok, guys,” Dani interfered, “letting our boy here stew in his horror for a while. I.. um- we actually want to ask you something.” She rested her hand on Jensen’s knee and probably had that eager and formal expression on her face. Jensen lifted his head to take a glimpse of it. “Jen and I talked about this…” Dani smiled at him.  _ Oh, he got it! _ Yeah, that was good. Jensen nodded as enthusiastically as he could in his embarrassment. Misha was perched on the armrest of Vicki’s armchair, eyes narrowed in curiosity, fumbling with a pack of oreos. “So we want to ask you, guys,” Dani was stalling but he couldn’t tell if she was nervous or for dramatic effect. Knowing her, probably a little of both. “Would you be our guests of honor at our wedding?”

“Oh, wow,” Misha looked genuinely surprised, like this was something unexpected from the fiancée of the guy you’re having sex with.

“We got the invitation but this is really humbling.” For the first time Jensen was seeing Vicki in anything less than a perfect composure. Fuck him but she looked touched.

“So will y’all?” Dani asked, straining with anticipation.

“We’d be honored,” Vicki giggled at her own bad pun. Even Jensen smiled a little. “Oh, let me get the milinki.”

“Or we’ll make you regret it,” Misha declared smugly, separating two oreo biscuits, slumped over Vicki’s empty seat. As Jensen laughed wholeheartedly, he felt the tension melt from his shoulders. Misha had that effect on him.

“Just don’t go all gross public indecency with my husband-to-be and I’ll be fine,” Dani winked.

“Pinkie promise,” Misha chuckled, throwing his head back. Jensen couldn’t fathom his happiness. This moment here between Danneel and Misha was probably what his heaven would look like. Chatting lightly, sipping coffee, sharing horrible jokes and puns. How could it get any better than this. His eyes stopped again at Misha, with his slack posture, carelessly licking just the cream filling of the third oreo in a row. Yep, it was confirmed. Jensen loved that man, weirdness and all. He wanted to say it, he wanted to scream it. Maybe he would say it. Soon. Now even. His stomach filled with butterflies at the sudden boldness. 

“So, having started with good news and stuff,” Vicki turned up with a tray of some baked breakfast goodie Jensen wasn’t familiar with, “ I have something to announce.” Jensen was barely listening, heart thumping in his ears. Let Vicki go first and maybe he could finish up the morning of cheesiness, going for all big confessions. “I’m pregnant,” Vicki said simply. Misha dropped his oreo. So maybe no other confessions today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as always thank you, [cooloddball](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/cooloddball) couldn't have done it without you.


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